Family Photography "FOMO" (Fear of Missing Out)

"Shan, I'm just so nervous I'll look back and have no pictures of my baby."

My friend Jenn sat in my living room, cradling her sweet little 3 month old, and when she said this, it broke my heart, because I knew the exact feeling. I felt it when Lily was born, and I'm anticipating it with our next baby. That feeling of worry that my kids will grow up and want to look back at family albums from their baby years and childhood, and wonder why the heck there isn't much to see. 

I looked at this sleeping baby and thought about how many times I've vowed I would take some time to play catch up and design some nice photo books for each year in our family's life. I think about the thousands of photos on my phone, just sitting there. I try to remember the last time I picked up my "fancy camera" to take photos of Lily. I look at hundreds of photos of families I have taken and wonder when I'll put my money where my mouth is and book a session for my own family. 

I fear that my child will be the cobbler's kid, without shoes, except she'll be the photographer's child without photos of herself with her family. 

Shannon, that's crazy, you have so many pictures of your kid!

I know! But I still experience these feelings, more as a mama than a photographer. My parents printed photos from everything in albums, physical photographs that I love sifting through, time and time again. 

My fear is that my family photos will live on a hard drive and my kids will never know the joy of sitting on the floor surrounded by stacks and shoeboxes of moments from their childhood. It's not that the photos won't exist, it's that they won't be seen or enjoyed. 

So what's a mama to do?

There is no nice way to put this, guys. I've tried softening the blow for myself and you, my friends, clients, readers, and my mom (Hi, Ma!).

Print the damn photos. Make the album. Hire the photographer and have them do it for you. We can complain and wistfully think of our #momgoals for archiving our family's visual memories, or we can actually take action. How much are these memories worth to you? How priceless would it be to have physical albums, prints on the walls, and yes, even a shoebox of loose prints that never made it into frames.

Does family photography come with a price tag? Yes.

Is it worth ensuring you have a yearly book or set of photos showing how your family has grown, and more importantly, with YOU in the picture instead of snapping all the photos yourself? YES.

I have never been more aware of time in my life. As a kid, the days, months and years stretch ahead of you, so far out of reach. Now, I look at pictures of squishy baby Lily from her first year and wonder how on earth I'll send this kid to kindergarten in a few months. How is it possible that I seem to blink and she's grown another inch, or has learned another skill and therefore has grown that much more independent of me? 

I relish the moments she snuggles up and lets me hold her, because those moments are becoming fewer and farther between. Four years ago, I could not imagine a time when my kid wouldn't fit in my arms anymore. And that time is approaching. And oh my goodness, it squeezes my heart. Every time I pick her up, her legs seem to dangle lower. Her face doesn't snuggle into my neck anymore. And in an instant she has wriggled herself away and has run off to play with her toys, and I'm left wondering, again, where did the time go? 

But for a quick moment, if she lets me hold her, you're darn right I am kicking Sean and telling him to grab his phone and take a picture. Because those are moments that matter to me, holding my girl, feeling the gentle rise and fall of her breath as she relaxes into me the way only my baby girl can curl up in my arms around my belly. 

Lily at 3 weeks old.

Yes, I have major FOMO (fear of missing out) as a mom. Every time I walk out the door I wonder if I should be bringing my camera, or if I'll be satisfied with iPhone pictures in the years ahead. I wonder at which point it's too much, or if such a thing as "too many photos" exists for me? So I thought it might be helpful to lay out some ideas and options so we, as parents, don't drive ourselves crazy over the years. 

Yearly Family Photography

Always worth it, in my opinion. Should you go broke on photos? Of course not, but whether it's a more traditional setting or more of a day-in-the-life, think about the kind of photos that are important to you to have professionally done, budget for them, and do it. And get the prints. Splurge on an album or coffee table book while you're at it. To be able to let someone else do the heavy lifting of taking photos while you enjoy your family and are able to get in the frame? Well, it's a gift.

Mini Sessions

A less expensive option than a full session, but you'll be limited for time, and will likely lack a lot of variety in your photos. You'll also be at the mercy of whether you can get your kid looking happy for the alloted 10-20 minute time slot. BUT, still a good choice for a yearly professional photo! At the very least, this can be a good option for a family holiday card or making prints for your parents, grandparents, in-laws. 

Learn to Use Your Fancy dSLR Camera

IPhones can only do so much. You do not have to be a professional to afford a nice camera that can take gorgeous photos. If you're willing to invest in yourself, take a photography class that covers the basics. There is so much information online these days, from photography blogs to YouTube tutorials. The point is, though, to make use of this amazing tool you have. Don't let it sit and collect dust. Go out and practice, practice, practice. 

I am toying with offering one-on-one mentoring to teach some basic photography and how to use a dSLR camera as a service. Let me know if you might be interested!

Grab a Trusted Friend or Family Member

Is it necessary to hire someone for every milestone that comes along? No, but you should still have photos from the days and events you want to remember, like birthdays, baptisms, dance recitals and first t-ball games. Get comfortable handing off your camera to a trusted friend or family member with the request that they take some photos for you. This allows you to enjoy, say, your child''s first birthday party and get you in the picture as well. The last thing any of us needs is our kid asking where the heck mom was all those years. Christmas morning? Hand your husband the camera. Let go of perfection and settle for presence. 

iPhone-tography

The latest iPhone 7 Plus is one of the best point and shoot cameras on the market right now. But even without that 7 Plus version, you have the ability to take and edit beautiful photos within moments on your phone. Basic photography knowledge definitely helps (lighting & composition being your main lessons), and there are a lot of free photo editing apps that can give your photos a boost (another post for another day).

Please, just do me one favor and when you take 20 of the same photo, go back and pick out your favorite one or two. Delete the rest. Yes, delete. I do this weekly, and it saves so much space and my sanity when I'm going back to find a photo. Sit down to watch This Is Us, sift through your photos during commercials. Boom. Done. 

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Step 1 of having photos of your kids and family is TAKE THE PHOTOS. If you don't take them, you can't complain that you don't have them. So think about what is a priority to you, book a session, learn to use that fancy camera, and when in doubt, grab a selfie with your nearest and dearest and love it for what it is. 

The next post in this set will discuss free photo editing apps for your phone pictures, so stay tuned!

Dreaming Big Creative Business Dreams

So, we're well into the new year....at least it feels like it. I intentionally avoided making resolutions because I know myself and by February I'll be looking at a list of these resolutions thinking "Hey girl, what were you thinking?" I tend to live an unplanned life, open to change and new directions, and while goal-setting is an admirable practice, it just hasn't been for me. I wind up disappointed in myself for not losing the weight, saving the money, keeping my house spotless and the other 5-10 things I try to convince myself I am capable of while running a business from home with a 4 year old and a baby on the way. 

Call it self awareness? Maybe I'm giving myself too much credit and I'm actually just lazy. It doesn't matter. I know myself well enough to know that setting goals is not my forte. 

But goodness gracious, I'm a dreamer. 

When I started my business 7 years ago, I dreamed of a day I'd be able to work from home and have a flexible schedule and do the mommy things I knew I'd want to do and live a life doing work I was truly proud of - and now I'm in the midst of that dream. It's reality. It's a lot of hard work and constantly trying to find the balance between working and being mom, but I wouldn't trade it for anything. It seemed so far away for so long, I had so many days I'd come home from my office job feeling defeated, like I'd never actually reach the point where I could leave the life of working towards someone else's vision. 

And it's not easy, not by a long shot. There are still days of feeling defeated or uncertain, where I question if I'm actually kidding myself and should go get a job with regular hours and regular pay. But there's that part of me that will never give up because I hand over photos to a client and know that I am giving them something so incredibly special, that they'll treasure the way I treasure photos of my own family. It's about so much more than hours worked and money and the physical and mental wear and tear this job takes. It's having the privilege of witnessing some of the most special and personal moments in someone's life and ensuring that those memories are documented and treated like they're more precious than gold. 

So I keep showing up and dreaming big dreams, because I want to keep reaching higher and seeing where I can go from here. Instead of resolutions for a year, I dream of where I want to be next year, or five or ten years from now. Here are a few of my big, badass dreams on the horizon...

Open a studio.

I'm dreaming of having a space of my own where I can work, shoot and meet with clients privately. I'm picturing industrial, exposed brick with tall windows, maybe an old mill building. Funky but comfortable vibe. 

Get published.

I need to step outside my comfort zone and start collaborating with so many of the amazingly talented local New England vendors to make some big and beautiful shoots happen.

Shoot elopements worldwide.

Whether they're in Hartford or Boston or NYC or the Caribbean or Paris. Just saying. I'm not picky. Any day of the week, I love photographing couples who are eager to get started on married life. 

Shoot more documentary sessions with families. 

Raw, emotional, active, playful photos without a bit of posing. Tell these stories and inspire people to want more of these kinds of sessions. 

Hire an assistant.

If I had someone else to do more of the business end of things, I could spend more time on the art. 

And on a personal note, I'm going to add:

Buy a house.

Like a studio space, I want a home that we can call our own. A place that we can paint, knock down walls, do renovation projects, and really make our own. So the kids can come home from school and have a yard to go play in and a neighborhood to go bike riding and where we have some space to breathe. 

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What are you dreaming of in the near to distant future? What steps can you start taking to make them a reality? How can I help and cheer you on?

Keep showing up. Keep doing the work. And please keep dreaming. 

On Believing in Yourself

It's one of my favorite times of year for many reasons. The workload is slowing down, I'm catching up on blogging and forming ideas for the year ahead. But most importantly, I'm doing some serious reflecting on the past year - where I was a year ago, big moments, little moments, successes, failures.

I'm a firm believer in reflecting on the past in order to move forward. 

I am part of a large community of creatives and entrepreneurs called The Rising Tide Society, which I mention every now and then, and this week we're taking part in an Instagram challenge that is all about resting, reflecting, and recharging. It comes at the perfect time when I am dreaming up goals for the new year, but also allowing myself to step back and look at all I've done this year and give myself a little pat on the back and a big mug of cocoa. 

One of the first parts of the challenge is finding an inspiring quote that will keep my business anchored in the coming year. I love quotes. I have Pinterest boards and journals full of them. My camera roll has random screenshots of when  II  see a quote II like that I want to come back to. I went to my little "Find Joy in the Journey" journal that I started back in January and found the perfect quote to move into 2017. It comes from Harry Potter:

"Working hard is important, but there is something that matters even more - believing in yourself."

This past year was hard and exciting and filled me with worry and energy and all the feelings. Being a self-employed creative person is a rollercoaster. Every single day I experience highs and lows and a rush of excitement and the climbing fear of what's to come. When your livelihood rests on your own shoulders and depends on holding yourself accountable for doing the work, putting yourself out there and being your own CEO, marketer, accountant, and boss lady, in addition to being an artist and doing that work at the core of your business - let's just say the stress can be crushing. 

And if you let doubt and fear consume you, that crushing stress will, well, crush you and leave you questioning every decision and action. 

When I went full time for myself last January, there was a lot of fear and doubt and anxiety. I did not know what this year would do to me or my family. I didn't know if I'd be searching for another office job or if I'd be wildly successful. All I could do was roll up my sleeves, do the work, and put myself out there. Again and again and again. I had to find my voice. I had to figure out who I am as a person, as a photographer, as a working mom and wife and boss lady. And it has not been easy figuring that out. 

Honestly, I'm still figuring it out.

One of the things that I learned quickly was that if I made any room for fear or doubt in my life, in my family and business, it would elbow it's way in and smother all the good things I have going. I had to find my confidence and my voice, and in order to do that, I had to stop comparing myself to others. I had to stop looking at how far or how quickly someone was growing their business. I had to find creative entrepreneur friends who I could hang out with and chat about business and ideas and life and things we're passionate about. When you don't work with other adults regularly, it can get lonely, and finding a local tribe to converse with is incredibly refreshing. 

This year has been a slow climb from years of holding myself back for my other jobs and things I had going on. This year was all about diving in headfirst, letting go of fear of what's ahead and just rolling with what came my way. This year was about believing that I could actually take this thing I love and make it work and support my family with it.

Because that's where it all began. It all began nearly 7 years ago, working a job I didn't love, wanting to fulfill my creative heart in a way that I could enjoy my someday (now reality) children, have flexibility with my time to spend with family. To do something that has a lasting impact for good on others. And to look myself in the eye and know that I'm doing something that I value, that I love, that is meaningful and creative. My work is serving others in a way that I best know how.

So working hard, yes it's important, of course it is. But if you don't believe in yourself, the journey will be incredibly difficult. 

Find your voice. Share your heart. Make friends with your creative community. Lean on your family and friends. Know that you have what it takes, and while it won't always be easy, it will always be worth it. 

 Cheers,

Shannon