This is 38 :: Celebrating and Reflecting on Another Trip Around the Sun

Who made the world? Who made the swan, and the black bear? Who made the grasshopper? This grasshopper, I mean— the one who has flung herself out of the grass, the one who is eating sugar out of my hand, who is moving her jaws back and forth instead of up and down— who is gazing around with her enormous and complicated eyes. Now she lifts her pale forearms and thoroughly washes her face. Now she snaps her wings open, and floats away. I don't know exactly what a prayer is. I do know how to pay attention, how to fall down into the grass, how to kneel down in the grass, how to be idle and blessed, how to stroll through the fields, which is what I have been doing all day. Tell me, what else should I have done? Doesn't everything die at last, and too soon? Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?

-Mary Oliver

This is 38.

Today is my happy new year. Another trip around the sun, lessons learned, love given and received. I am feeling sparkly with love and abundance from the Universe this weekend.

Yesterday morning, I woke up to snuggly kids in our cozy bed, and started the day feeling bathed in the warmth of gratitude. I heated up some pumpkin bread with butter and cinnamon, poured a mug of hot coffee and cream, and thought about how I want my 38th year to feel. Here are a few words that came to mind…

Delicious…Rich…Cozy…Colorful…Affectionate…Intimate…Patient…Slow…Connected…

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I have an old journal from college, with Mary Oliver’s famous quote from the above poem, and I think of this often. I dream big dreams while enjoying simple pleasures, looking for beauty and joyful moments every day, and actively work to stay present in the now.

I also continue to learn to acknowledge my fears, my doubts, my shortcomings, my struggles. I am as imperfect as they come. I am broken and cracked and parts glued back together with love and care and a whole lot of grace. And honestly, some parts are haphazardly slapped on with duck tape.

As a Libra Sun, I love this time of year. It’s a time to turn more inward, slow down, get cozy and sink deeper into yourself. I wonder how much of who I am is ruled by being born into this world in early October, and arriving at this season feels like a joyful homecoming.

As the days, weeks, months and years tick by, I really just want to live a life of simple joys.

I hope I am always this person who sits and looks around at nature, listening to music, breathing deeply and feeling grateful for where I am in every moment.

I want to continue to explore and make art that feels vibrant, healing, empathetic and full of love.

I want to show my family the most love and affection possible. I want to exercise more patience and slowness with my parenting, and more intimacy and connection with my partner. To go to bed each night, cuddled up to my dearest love, and sink into peaceful, restful sleep.

I want to bottle up moments of watching my kids running wild and free, with their laughter tickling the treetops and their hair smelling of sunshine and pine at the end of the day.

I want to take in every possible sight, sound, smell, taste, and feeling as I go about my days.

I want to laugh from the depths of my belly until tears squeeze out the corners of my eyes and form rivers down my cheeks.

The tide continues to flow in and out. Our bodies continue to expand and contract with the moon. The sun rises and sets in gloriously brilliant watercolor masterpieces that stretch across the sky. And there’s so dam,n much in between all of that.

I want to enjoy it all.

I want to savor every morsel of every moment.

With butter and cinnamon.

Do I Actually Like Coffee or Do I Just Like Sugar?

Do I Actually Like Coffee, or Do I Just Like Sugar? A blog post about old habits and letting go by Shannon Sorensen

There have been many times in my life that I have made the decision to cut sugar out of my coffee. I’d do it for a few days or a couple weeks, and then I’d slowly start adding that sweetness back in. I chalked it up to my personal flavor preference for something I enjoyed consuming, and that was that.

I typically made this decision at the start of a health kick. My thought process went something like, “Sugar is bad. I put a lot of sugar in my coffee. I drink a lot of coffee, so I drink a lot of sugar. If I cut out the sugar, that will be a healthy decision for me.”

I would do this for a week or so, and inevitably start adding sugar back in, because the coffee was too bitter, too…gross, really, for me to enjoy.

But this week, I had a bit of an epiphany. I am making some major lifestyle changes to combat weight gain and bad cholesterol, so one of the first things I did? Cut the sugar out of coffee. And I’m sitting here drinking my cup, which has half and half and cinnamon in it, and guess what popped into my head…

What if I don’t actually like coffee?

As someone who drinks anywhere from 1-4 cups of this per day, it seems like a valid question to be asking.

Do I actually like coffee, or do I just like sugar?

And the jury’s still out on that question. I want to give it a fair shot to see if cutting sugar out of all areas of my diet results in adjusting my taste buds. But, this brought up another question…

Why do I feel the need to like coffee so much? And what else am I holding onto day after day, year after year?

I have been drinking it since I was 14. I remember sneaking tastes of it from my mom’s morning cup and thinking it was disgustingly bitter. And then, one night at the beach with a friend, she gave me a thermos fully of “mocha”. I had no idea what mocha was, and she told me it was coffee with cream and cocoa in it. Wow! I Love cocoa! I gave it a try and was hooked. I started drinking mocha. I gradually started making coffee without cocoa, adding scoops of sugar instead.

For over 20 years, coffee has been a central part of my daily routine. Grabbing a cup at a local coffee shop with friends, grabbing a big morning cup from Dunkin on the way to work, school drop off, or embarking on a two-hour drive between Connecticut and Massachusetts.

The “Mommy needs coffee” mindset that has taken over social media, graphic tees and seeped into our core beings. It has played a supporting role in the social theatrics of motherhood and working from home. It’s been around for so long, it’s become part of my identity. I am a coffee-drinking artist.

But the question remains…do I actually like coffee?

I’m sure there are people who do. And perhaps it’s a matter of finding a brew that has a good flavor that I do enjoy. But again, what if I just don’t like it?

Oh coffee, why can’t I just quit you?

I have quit quite a few things this past year that I don’t enjoy, that no longer serve me, and don’t feel good. Maybe it was being home and being with myself for so long that these changes came pretty easy. I stopped wearing bras in general, and switched to comfier bralettes and camis. I stopped pouring my nightly glass of wine or beer while making dinner (and the second drink after the kids went to bed). I realized that I didn’t enjoy it anymore, and it was giving me regular headaches and tummy troubles. And again, the whole “Mommy needs a drink” mindset felt icky and not a good story I want to embody.

Pants with zippers and buttons? Buh-bye. I am a curvy person who enjoys her stretchy clothes. Screw the patriarchy and capitalism for making me think I have to wear certain things at all, especially constricted clothes that don’t expand and contract with my feminine body throughout the day and month.

And the best breakup has been no longer automatically going to Amazon for every little thing out of convenience. Jeff Bezos doesn’t need my money, and I don’t need convenience when it comes to most things I’m looking to purchase.

So today, I am just putting this out there for anyone who may need to hear it:

You can stop doing the things that you do out of habit, that you don’t enjoy, that no longer serve you.

You don’t need anyone’s permission. You don’t need to make a big thing out it - I mean, let’s ignore the fact that I am writing an entire blog post about possibly breaking up with coffee, and may have also tweeted about it this morning…

Cutting the cord on things that no longer serve you, and no longer make you happy, allows you to open up space and energy for things you do enjoy.

It may not seem like that big a deal, but when you stop and think of all the things you continue to do out of sheer habit, how much are you holding onto?

And who is keeping that habit locked in? Is it you? Capitalism? Family or friends?

Or do we simply keep on keeping on because it’s what we’re used to, and the idea of letting go brings up some discomfort?

So here’s your homework…

changing habits, shifting mindsets with Shannon Sorensen

Take five minutes and reflect, make a list, jot down one or a few habits you hold onto that you actually don’t like, or no longer serve a purpose to who you are today. Sit with the feelings that come up. And start actively letting them go.

Some things will be easy to release.

Others may take more time, and incremental change.

But as Marie Kondo teaches us in the practice of letting go of things, it may just be as simple as asking: Does this bring me joy? Do I actually like this?

The answers might be clearer and easier than we ever realized.

Let go of all that weighs you down, and discover how high you can really soar.

Love to you all, and have a beauty filled day.


Shannon Sorensen is a Connecticut-based artist, photographer, writer and creative spirit. She’s a work at home mama to two wonderful young kids, and hopes her art and writing inspire you to explore your own creativity, or at the very least, bring some light to your day.

If you enjoy Shannon’s art and writing, you can support her ongoing creative work by supporting her art shop, or simply tipping the artist below.

Tip the Artist

All In a Day's Work :: Life as a Full Time Artist Working at Home with Kids

Abstract Expressive Art,  Artist Shannon Sorensen, Connecticut Artist, Working at Home with Kids

I used to observe people who were working from home and/or running their own full-time businesses and think, “It must be nice to do what they do. It doesn’t look hard or annoying, they get to work from home, they must have such an easy life…”

Umm…not so much, 2012 me…

It was easy to think that way, on the outside looking in. And I still catch myself when someone I’ve followed for a long time shows a bit more beyond the surface…

Everyone’s reality is faaaar from what we see on social media.

As an artist, working at home and spending every day with my kids, I honestly don’t know what my life looks like. I try to share an honest glimpse at my days - the good and the bad. There’s always a balance of “being real”, and wanting to market myself and my work as inspiring and beautiful.

But there’s laundry on the floor, toys strewn about, and plenty of coffee mugs and empty seltzer cans on my desk and bedside table. I will never pretend that my home is some minimalist, tidy image. It’s “well lived in”. It’s where I spend every single day, working and parenting and hanging out with my main squeeze of 19 years.

As I said in my Creativity Pep Talk last week, everyone has different journeys, different spaces, different families and relationships and work styles. We cannot compare what we see on the surface of someone else’s life, to the ins and outs of our own journey, experiences, and circumstances.

No one’s life is easy and glamorous. I think the more we share some of the struggle, the better off we all are in learning to be more empathetic and kind humans. When Chrissy Teigan and Meghan Markle shared so openly about their pregnancy losses this year, I felt deeply connected to their experiences, having been through similar. I saw so many comments about how they were oversharing, but because they shared, we better understand and remember that at the core, being royalty or living “the dream life”, doesn’t keep you from experiencing real pain and grief.

We all have good days and bad days. We all have days we work our asses off, and days we need to slow down. Whether you’re making millions of dollars or growing a side hustle to put food on the table, no one ever sees the full picture. We can only have grace with ourselves and try to have more understanding and compassion, less judgement and comparison.

It’s all in how you frame your perspective.

the glimpse of my day that you see is not the whole picture.

Yesterday, I shared three new paintings I had created. They are smaller, 4x6 acrylics on canvas, which took me about 3 hours to make.

I started wondering if people saw my post and thought “Wow, it must be nice to only spend 3 hours a day working.” I worry every day that the fact that I work at home somehow translates to “She only works 3 hours a day. It must be so easy and fun.”

It is and it isn’t. We all work. Many of us who work for ourselves find our days following a less traditional schedule, but it doesn’t change the fact that work is work. We’re constantly moving the needle forward in different ways. I am working towards every single sale to put food on our table and keep a roof over our heads.

My three small paintings took 3 hours to create, but in that time, I had to pause to sit down over Google Meet for a parent teacher conference. I had to pause to help Lily check her math practice sheets and help her work through some problems. I was thinking about all the art I need to add to my website so I can start meeting higher sales goals each month.

I squeezed in picking up the canvas from another artist in town after picking up Lily from school. I have been watching videos and taking classes for my art, learning new techniques, practicing different styles, messing up a lot and working through creative blocks.

I’m working around naps and remote learning, snacks and bathroom breaks. I’m weighing the pros and cons of my kids begging for an outdoor playdate with a friend after spending so much time inside at home this winter, while I watch the sunlight quickly changing and fading each afternoon, my opportunities to paint in my optimal lighting and creative energy feeling the pressure of time slipping away.

As an artist, I am joyfully creating, and I am working to support my family.

A lot of the stuff I do behind the scenes doesn’t make it to social media, because it’s “boring”. It’s what I call the “Work-Work”. This includes making podcast episodes (writing, recording, editing, publishing), Youtube videos (recording, editing, writing and publishing), planning and posting and engaging on social media, managing my finances, client inquiries and relationships, marketing, shipping art…I never work “just 3 hours a day”.

For the one picture I share with the world, there’s a lot more happening around it throughout the day.

Work at Home Life, Work at Home Mom, Realistic Schedule Working at Home, Self Employed, Full Time Artist

What does my day typically look like?

A few weeks ago, I started using time blocking as a way to simplify and focus on what really needs to get done each day for my business, my family, and for me.

I used to try to plan every day down to the minute, thinking it would make me more productive. It was actually just really overwhelming and I would get distracted, lose focus, and nothing would get done.

I created a time blocking printable - give it a try!

Every day is different, so time blocking gives me the flexibility I need to hyper focus on my priorities, which include my work and parenting. Roo is home with me every day (we plan to start him in pre-K in the fall), and Lily is still doing remote days on Wednesdays, so I divide my days into 4 main blocks.

Morning 1 - 6:30-9:30am

We are waking up, getting showered and dressed, having breakfast, getting ready for school, dropping off at school, and getting settled into the day. We all know what we need to do in the morning, so I don’t plan it down to the minute. We are all home and getting ready in the morning and have established a pretty fluid routine.

Morning 2 - 9:30-11:30am

Sean leaves for work, and I’m settling into my workday. I sit down and do a 5-minute brain dump to clear my head and reflect on how I feel, and what I want and need to get done in the day ahead. From my brain dump, I prioritize my top three needs, and I do those things first. These things may be:

  • responding to clients and inquiries

  • writing a blog post or creating graphics for my website and social media

  • writing, recording, editing and publishing a podcast episode

  • adding new art and listings to my shop, and sharing them out to Pinterest, social media and my email list

  • filming, editing, and posting new videos to my creative living channel on Youtube

  • working on tracking sales and finances

  • writing my weekly email newsletters

I try to focus on one general area of my work that I can complete in that time. Roo plays independently, watches some PBS Kids. There are days I forgo working in the morning so we can go for a walk, play, or do learning activities together. I am massively grateful for this flexibility in my life since this is a temporary time we get to spend together.

Midday Break - 11:30am-1pm

This break is for lunch, and doing some personal things around the house. Working from home is a constant mental battle of knowing that there’s laundry, dishes, appointments to make, grocery orders and meal planning…This midday break allows me to eat, breathe, stretch, and do those things that take up mental space. Knowing I have this time set aside allows me to better focus on work and other priorities throughout the day.

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Afternoon 1 - 1pm-3pm

This is my golden time block for creativity. I spend this time painting, drawing coloring pages, or finishing up podcast or Youtube episodes. I try to do more of the podcast and Youtube work at the beginning of the week, so by Wednesday, I can spend my afternoons drawing and painting when more people are home from work and school.

Thankfully, at this time, Roo still naps most days during this block of time. Play hard, nap hard.

Afternoon 2 - 3pm-6pm

I wake Roo from his nap and we hustle out to the car to go pick up Lily from school. Once she’s in the car, we run any errands (like grocery pickups and Buy Nothing exchanges), and head home. On nice days, we might stop at a playground for some fresh air and playtime. Again, I’m grateful for the flexibility to make these decisions based on what’s on my plate and what my kids need. While they’re running around outside, I might listen to a podcast or pop into Clubhouse, make an Instagram post, and spend some time engaging on social media to stay active and relevent.

This block of time is the most flexible depending on the day, the weather, if Lily has ballet class, and if it’s a day we’re all home (my husband is home Wednesdays and Fridays). Generally, the kids are playing and have “free” time, while I’m wrapping up tasks that might take another hour or so. We’re cleaning up the house, doing any extra practice homework or reading, changing laundry, and getting ready for dinner.

Evening 6pm-10pm

The kids shower and put on pjs while I’m making dinner. We sit down together to eat, sometimes in front of the tv, depending on what’s for dinner and how many of us are home (Friday nights are always homemade pizza and family movie night). While I’m making dinner, I like to watch painting or business videos on Youtube on my iPad. The kids watch a little tv or play some video games if they get their jammies on quickly enough. Our family style is pretty laid back and it works well for us. I don’t fret over small stuff. It’s how I keep my sanity and enjoy motherhood.

After dinner, we head upstairs for bedtime. Some nights bedtime takes an hour. I am always incredibly tired by this point in the evening, but I enjoy reading to the kids, talking about their day, answering their “what is the meaning of life” questions and giving them some snuggles. I sing them a few bedtime songs, and it’s lights out.

I finish up cleaning up, dishes and laundry (which usually stays in a pile on the chair or in a basket in our room), Sean gets home from work around 9, and we chat and watch tv or play some video games, and go to bed. I usually watch a show or two before going to sleep (currently rewatching Brooklyn 99). Most nights, I stay up later than I should. I keep saying I’ll start going to bed earlier and waking up earlier to give myself more time for myself, but I haven’t made that change of habit yet.

That’s a pretty typical day in my life! Some days are more productive. Some days are crazy and stressful as a mom. Some days are pretty chill and enjoyable.

It’s definitely a balance, and while I know that what I share to social media is a small slice of my work and my day, I know there are many fellow artists, small business owners and entrepreneur friends going through similar days, finding ways to get stuff done around kids, and constantly changing plans and needs.

If you’re ever scrolling and find yourself thinking “Wow, their life must be so fun and easy.” - just take a moment and remember that there’s more than meets the eye.

We’re all trying to remember to eat and drink water.

Some of us have strict routines that never change. Some of us are constantly tweaking and working around changing household schedules.

Some of us have more appointment heavy days, some of us have more flexibility (which can be difficult to stay on task).

Some people have a lot of support of family, friends, neighbors. Some can afford assistants and house cleaners. Some are making it work solo.

Every person’s day to day experience varies in work, home life, parenting, relationships, spirituality, physical and mental wellness, and a million other things…

We’re doing our best to do more of what we love, while enjoying time with our loved ones. We do what we can to slow down, prioritize what means most to us, and maybe share a sliver of that with the world. Most of us artists, small businesses and entrepreneurs know and value the satisfaction and joy of doing work that we’re passionate about, to balance out our unique struggles.

No one’s perfect. The fantasy that we perceive is just that - a fantasy. There’s actually blood, sweat, tears, tantrums, timeouts, dirty laundry, burnt dinner, spilled milk, and a whole lot of grace going on behind the scenes of that Instagram feed.

My dad used to sell bumper stickers at his fishing store that said “A bad day of fishing is still better than a good day at the office.” And it’s the dang truth.

Do more of what you love, prioritize yourself and your people, and no matter what the reality of your day looks like, life is, indeed, good.


Shannon Sorensen is a Connecticut-based artist with a passion for abstract, expressive painting, and encouraging fellow creatives to do more of what they love! Subscribe to her podcast, Youtube, and weekly emails for a hearty dose of creative inspiration and encouragement each week.

The Creative Happy Life Podcast Episode 10 :: What is Your Big, Scary Dream?

Hey, welcome back! It’s been a bit since my last episode, and I am kicking things off fresh with a new “season” of episodes that will get your creativity flowing, boost your spirits and hopefully help you enjoy doing more of what makes you happy!

When I launched the Creative, Happy Life podcast last September, I wasn’t quite sure what I was doing, and I didn’t have much of a plan for where I wanted to take it. If you know me personally, I’m sure this is sooooo surprising! Can you sense the sarcasm?…But if there’s one thing I’m good at, it’s learning and figuring it out as I go! I’m proud of where I started and am glad to have you along for this journey! At the end of the day, I hope to entertain, inspire, and make you feel happy!

Before we get started, join me in the Creative Happy Life Community on Facebook so we can keep the conversation going, ask questions, get inspired, and connect with other creative minds!

LISTEN HERE, ON SPOTIFY, OR ON APPLE PODCASTS:


Creative, Happy Life Podcast Episode 10 What is Your Big Scary Dream by Shannon Sorensen

What is your big scary dream?

I wrote this question on a little post-it note and stuck it to my work computer back in 2009. That sticky note moved with me several times over the past decade, and I always kept it on the bottom of my monitor as a reminder to never stop dreaming or reaching for the things I want in life. In 2009, that dream was building a photography business, becoming my own boss, getting married and having a family. My big scary dream was to be the biggest and best photographer in New England, with a super cool blog and I would travel to conferences and tell people to follow their own dreams.

Well, plans change. Life throws curveballs. Dreams evolve. So my question for you today is…what is your big scary dream? Not from childhood. Not from your college years 20 years ago. Wherever you are, right here and now.

What is your big scary dream?


[intro] Hey, I’m Shannon, and you’re listening to the Creative, Happy Life podcast! Join me each week as we share real stories, struggles, wisdom and conversations about life, creativity and the pursuit of happiness. So grab a comfy seat, settle in, and let’s get to it!


Creative Happy Life Podcast Episode 10 What is Your Big Scary Dream_pin.jpg

Show TRANSCRIPT

Episode 10: WHAT IS YOUR BIG SCARY DREAM?

Hello, friends! Welcome to the Creative, Happy Life podcast. I’m your host, Shannon Sorensen, and I am so glad to be here! I am back! It has been about 6 months since I pushed out my last episode, and oh my goodness…It feels like a lifetime ago, if I’m being honest, and I think many of you would agree. Six months ago, it was April, we were still very much at the beginning of all of this. Most people were still staying home, schools and businesses were closed and there was a lot of uncertainty if, when, and how things would open back up. We were still at a point of not knowing just how long this would stretch out for.

There are still a lot of questions, and some rising uncertainty with case numbers starting to really spike again, the Presidential election is next week. We’ve kind of been operating at a high level of anxiety, trauma and exhaustion that has been taking a toll. I’ve been feeling it, I know many of my friends who are teachers and healthcare workers are feeling it. So I just want to send out some love and support to you if you are listening right now and feeling the burnout. You are appreciated. You are loved. You are supported. I hope this episode helps you feel better, inspires you, and gives you a push to do something for yourself today, even something like going to bed an hour earlier or making a delicious cup of coffee, tea or cocoa and enjoying it while it is hot.

It’s the little things, right? You deserve to enjoy the happy little things in each day. In a world that feels like we’re teetering on the edge of a cliff, with hope and potential to our left, and plummeting to our doom on the right, we have to find ways to love and support ourselves, and each other, and create moments and spaces of safety and comfort. And that looks different for everyone, but I hope you can prioritize your needs in whatever way feels right, whether it’s asking for help, going to therapy, calling a friend, or communicating your needs to a loved one. It literally takes a village some days, so I hope you can cultivate a circle of loving support. We all need to hold each other up and some days we need more support, other days we can give more support.

So, what’s good right now? My daughter is at school 4 days a week, for now, and we’re doing everything we can to keep it that way, but we’re also being flexible. We talk a lot about being flexible these days. My husband is back to work, at his place of work, not working from home. I know a lot of people are still working from home for the forseeable future, so we’re still “in it”, just a different “in it” than we were a few months ago.

I took this break from recording the podcast because I really needed to focus a lot of my time and energy on my kids and home, and my creative work, because for me, my work pretty much just stopped. The photography industry, like many industries, has taken a major hit. I’ve been a photographer for almost 11 years, and when all of this happened in March, my newborn sessions were postponed indefinitely. I typically go to people’s homes to photograph their babies and family life in those early days with their newborns, and I spend a couple hours in their home. And I couldn’t do that! I had a wedding postponed from September to next April, so we’ll see what happens over this winter. And then all the family sessions I usually have throughout the summer and into the fall were significantly reduced or stopped.

I realized pretty quickly that I had to get creative and think of other ways to work. And one of the things I immediately turned to, which ties into what we’re going to talk about today, is painting! I started making real time for myself back in January, before any of this Covid-19 stuff was really on our radar, because I love it! I always knew I loved it, but it’s one of those things I simply didn’t prioritize in my life. I’d break out my paints and brushes every 6 months or so, often longer, and get into it for an hour, and then I’d put it away for another year.

But in that hour or so, I’d experience this incredible calm. This feeling of peace. I just felt good, and happy, and creative, and present in the moment, in my own body. There are a lot of things we do everyday where we can be multitasking, and bouncing around from one thing to another, and thinking of a million other things…But when I’m painting, all of that falls away. It’s like a meditation, or what runners talk about, the “runner’s high” they experience when they hit their stride, and they’re in the flow. That’s painting for me. It’s a time to be focused and purely creative, to paint whatever I’m feeling, whatever emotion, whatever I’m going through. I don’t know what’s going to happen, I just allow myself to play, and explore, and express.

So I have been spending more and more time painting, and it’s bringing me joy! It’s something I felt called to do, and explore, and put more of my time and energy into, and I’m finding that it fills me up. It makes me feel more whole.


So, as we get into today’s discussion, I want to take a moment to pause and say hello, and welcome. If you are new to the podcast, or if you’ve listened to past episodes, I’m grateful for this space and I have some really fun, beautiful episodes planned for you. I am working on ramping up to recording weekly episodes. I love every aspect of creating this show, and want to use it as a vehicle to inspire you and empower you to truly find ways within your day to day to prioritize and explore your creativity, and do more of what makes you happy. I believe in the healing power of creativity, that the simple act of thinking creatively can lift your mood and signal your brain to release those happy, peaceful feelings. And I say that as a person who does not know the scientific ins and outs of the brain, but speaking from my own experience and wisdom and conversations and experiences with others, that’s really what I’m here to share.

And speaking of “here”, I want to make sure this show is as accessible as possible. I know some people enjoy listening to podcasts, some enjoy watching videos and some enjoy reading, so I am producing audio, video, and a written transcript of each episode going forward, so you can enjoy it any way you like, whether that’s on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Youtube, or reading the transcript on my website. So wherever you are, I’m glad you’re here!

If you enjoy my work and feel inspired to further support it, I just want to highlight a couple quick and easy ways you can do that, and then I promise, we’re going to get into the good stuff.

If you are listening on an audio platform, you can subscribe, follow, leave a 5-star rating or review. You can always take a screenshot on your phone while you’re listening and share it to your Instagram of Facebook stories, and tag me so I know you’re listening and can do a little happy dance. If you’re on Youtube, hit subscribe and thumbs up under the video, and if you’re reading the transcript on my blog, you can comment, pin a picture or two on Pinterest, or simply share a link to the post on Facebook or Twitter!

I want these episodes to be like a big party, a gathering of creative minds and hearts, where we collectively inspire and empower each other to live more creatively, live more fully. My goal is to build a table where everyone has a seat and feels welcome here, and you are free to mingle and connect. Come as you are. If you enjoy crafting or writing or coloring books or painting with oils or reading about art history or gardening or home decor, we are all creative in our own ways. We all have our gifts and skills. We all have different paths, but at the core, we are all creative, and in the words of David Rose, I feel like that needs to be celebrated. So if you are a fan and want a place to meet new creative friends, join us in the Creative, Happy Life Community on Facebook!

As always, thank you for your support. It has taken me a few different takes at recording to get some ideas out of my brain. I tend to, surprise, surprise, put a lot of pressure on myself. That pressure turns into fear, and then I just don’t…create. And that’s not a good thing. We need to be creating. We need to rip off the bandaid and get to it.


Creative, Happy Life Podcast Episode 10 What is Your Big Scary Dream by Shannon Sorensen

So, today, in sharing about my painting and what pulled me to paint more, we’re going to talk about your wants, desires and intuition. I am wondering if there is something that you are feeling pulled towards or called to do or called to be or called to explore. And we’re going to start by approaching this from a perspective I think a lot of us can understand. And that perspective is the Disney Princess “I Want” song. So what’s an “I Want” song? Lin Manuel Miranda explains this incredibly well. He wrote the musicals Hamilton, In the Heights and songs from Moana. He’s a creative genius, in my opinion, and I remember in the first year that I was listening to the Hamilton soundtrack, hearing an interview where he talks about the “I Want” song, and how in Hamilton the Musical, the song “My Shot” is Alexander Hamilton’s I Want song. He’s proclaiming and putting it out there into the world that he has this desire, he has something calling him to do more, and he’s not sure what it is. But he knows that it’s there, and he’s not going to ignore it. He knows that he has skills, he knows he’s smart and drive to push forward and do something with his life that’s meaningful and important. So he’s setting this intention at the beginning of the show that this is something that he wants. That this is his intention for his life.

And we see this song in most Disney movies, right? So, in Frozen, Anna sings about wanting to open the gates and experience life outside the castle walls and to have the windows open and maybe fall in love and have a life she’s dreamed of, but wasn’t sure would be possible.

When Elsa sings Let it Go, she knows she has powers and she’s learning to explore and embrace them instead of suppressing them and living in fear. She gets playful, and the more she plays and creates, the more confident and joyful she becomes. And then in Frozen 2, I hope I’m not spoiling anything, if you haven’t seen it, skip ahead a bit, but Elsa is literally hearing a voice calling to her, and she can’t ignore it, she doesn’t know what it is. She sings about having to find the voice and figure out who or what it is, and figure out what else she’s being called to do. She knows she has powers She’s already come so far with embracing her powers, but there’s something even greater out there for her, and she’s nervous, but determined to discover what it is, so she can fully step into her power and who she’s truly called to be, beyond the position of queen of her kingdom. There’s even more for her, and that is something unexpected. She already has what she thinks is enough, with her sister and little family, her kingdom, and using her powers. So realizing there’s something even more out there, deciding to go “Into the Unknown”, requires her to open up and embrace the possibility of more change, more uncertainty, but maybe more wonder and good, not just for her but for the world.

Moana sings about the ocean, it calls to her, she feels the need and desire to go out and explore. She has this life on her island where she’s expected to be the next leader and stay where she is, and solve problems where she is. But she feels this pull away from the island, her intuition and her wise old grandma tell her that she has to go beyond the reef. Even though she doesn’t know what’s out there, even though she doesn’t know how to sail, even though it’ll go against her father’s wishes and possibly disappoint her entire village.

So there are all these times that these princesses and characters are proclaiming to the universe, there’s something out there for me, I don’t know what it is, but I can’t ignore it. I know I have these skills, gifts, talents, powers. I don’t quite understand the big picture yet, but I know deep down in my gut, in my soul, in my heart, in my brain, wherever you hold your intuition, I know there’s something more for me.

These “I Want” songs challenge us to face the very real aspect of fear and the unknown of stepping away from a place of comfort and safety and familiarity. A decision has to be made to trust themselves, even though the path isn’t clear. That even staying and following the clear path doesn’t guarantee safety and happiness. And that trusting themselves to go against the status quo may mean disappointing or upsetting loved ones.

So those are some pop culture examples, but I think many of us, myself included, feel these intuitive pulls, at different times in life. So in these movies, these princesses and queens and characters are usually young, on the cusp of becoming an adult, coming of age, stepping into a time when they’re going to be a leader…but what about other times in our lives when we feel called to something new? When we’ve gotten married and bought a house, or have spent 20 years on a career path. Times of change and major life shifts are sometimes exacerbated when something in the world is shaken up. A chapter is closing and we’re on to something new. There’s a problem and we feel stuck. Something happens that rocks us to our core and breaks our hearts open. And it’s not always clear what this pull is, but we know it’s there and can’t ignore it.

What do we do if there’s something we’re intuitively feeling that we can’t ignore? After all, we aren’t living in an animated movie. We’re living very real lives with very real responsibilities. So how do we balance that pull with respect to those around us, our loved ones, who our actions may have a direct effect?

I wish there were an easy answer.

Creative Happy Life Podcast Episode 10 What is Your Big Scary Dream

We are in a moment of collective shift, and change. With everything that has happened in our personal lives, in our families, in our work and schools and in the world, we’ve all had to make major adjustments. We’ve had to face some fears and hard truths. Either directly because of the pandemic, or because the effects of the pandemic brought this to the surface, many of us have taken this time to examine how we live, where we live, how we spend our money, how we consume, how we spend our time, who we spend our time with. This is a time of change. Like it or not, it’s happening. And no, not everyone is going to go out and do something new, move to a new place, change jobs, leave the city for life in a more remote setting. But I bet there are many people who are. Because there is so much on the horizon that we still don’t know. And many people may decide, you know, now is the time to do this, to find a job that makes me happy, to move somewhere new and make a fresh start, to change things up, because we are reaching a point where the desire to try something new, and hope it’ll be better, outweighs the fear of letting go of the comfort and safety of what we’ve known for so long.

For me, not being able to go out and do my photography work has been very hard, for many reasons, but most importantly, it’s how I support my family, it’s my job, it’s the business I’ve built for over 10 years. When I started, I was working a corporate job, and I would do my photography on the weekends and every day after working from 9-5 I would come home and work, work, work, work, work to build this business and this life as a photographer. So that when people thought of me, they’d think “That’s Shannon, she’s married, has two kids and she’s a photographer.” It wasn’t just a job I did, it became a core part of who I am. And I’m very proud of the work that I have done.

But what do you do when a core part of you changes? Because in March, it just went away. I couldn’t work. It was very scary. I lost income, I couldn’t plan ahead for work that I would typically depend on. And the scary part of having your own business and being your own boss and being an entrepreneur is that if the work goes away, that’s it. You have to figure out something else. Many small businesses don’t have a cushion, so the fragility of job security during this time has been very apparent.

So, when my work went away and got put on hold, I quickly had to change course. I was on a sailboat in the middle of the ocean and there was no wind, so I had to build some oars. I had to figure out something else. And I quickly turned to painting, and made even more time for it in my days and weeks at home, because it was something that brought me joy. It’s something that when I went through my miscarriage two years ago, I didn’t go to therapy. I probably should have and maybe I will go in the future, I think therapy is great and everyone who can should go to therapy. But I was very open about my experience, and I wanted to share that experience, and how I felt, and the different aspect of grief and the grief journey.

And I didn’t quite know the best way for me to do that, in a way that honored my loss and my experience, and help people understand the lasting and lifelong ups and downs that follows losing a baby. For a while I thought that I would write a book, and that’s not off the table. But I wanted to find some way to process and express what I went through. And everyone has different ways to deal with things in life, whether it’s loss or hardship or depression or coping mechanisms. Some people listen to music, some people journal or go to therapy, some people meditate. And for me, I really found that fulfillment, that support that I needed, in painting. Through the process of painting, I can fully embrace who I am in the moment. It doesn’t have to be good. I don’t have to paint for anyone but myself. And in that way, painting became an important part of the healing process for me.

And then back in the winter when my grandmother was sick, and when she passed at the end of March, it became even more important. Because I started recognizing in myself how I felt when I painted, and when I took the time to create just for me. And I listened to myself, and started trusting myself, and that feeling, that voice telling me, “You should do this more, you should do this, this is something that’s good for you, this is something you enjoy. It’s something that you’re good at, and it’s putting something beautiful into the world.”

Anytime you create something, you are making the world better in a very special way. You are sharing a part of yourself, whether you’re the only person who sees it or if millions of people see it, it doesn’t matter, it is beautiful because it was not there before, and now it is, because of you.

So, the creative process of painting, for me, became my “I Want” song of, I know this thing is here. I know I have the desire to paint. I know it’s part of me. I know that I’m good at it and enjoy it. I was really scared to put it out there into the world that this was something I was doing, because for so long, the core part of me that people recognized was being a photographer. And what I really wanted was to proclaim to the world that I’m an artist.

And that was a scary thing. That was stepping out of my comfort zone to proclaim and put it out there that I’m an artist. Yes, I’m a photographer, but look at this other stuff I am creating, that I love, that is a reflection of who I am and an expression of my experiences. And maybe it’s something I can do with my life, that other people might connect with and enjoy. And if not, that’s fine, too.

The more I started listening to myself, and allowing myself to explore this side of my creativity, not to get dramatic, but the world started opening up to me. I felt more like myself, comfortable in my own body, and comfortable in my own mind and comfortable in my own heart to express myself in a way that I hadn’t really known how to before, despite being a very open person when it comes to sharing my journey as a creative person, and as a woman and a mother. I stopped feeling the need to try to fit into anyone else’s idea of who I am or who I should be. It was like coming home to myself, returning to who I knew I was as a child, and realizing I have everything I need, and am worthy of a happy, beautiful life.

So I want to ask you…do you have an “I Want” song? Do you have a desire in your heart, a yearning, a gut feeling, something that you just can’t ignore…something that you want to do, that you want to explore…trust it. Trust your intuition, trust your brain, trust your heart, trust your guts.

You never know where it might lead you. And it’s scary! Think about these princesses - they’re in their comfort zones, they’re in their castle on their island, surrounded by familiarity, surrounded by family and a feeling of safety. And often times, when you are feeling this pull towards something, it might mean having to leave your comfort zone, even just a little bit, and to see yourself in a new way. It might mean having hard conversations, or finding the courage to speak up and proclaim your desire into the universe. You could be standing alone in the middle of a forest and just say it, to the trees and the air and the squirrels and the leaves, but words are powerful, and when you speak your intention out loud, it will change you.

Maybe this is what they mean when they say “speak your truth” - it’s already inside you, it’s already there…it’s already a part of you. But will you listen, and accept, and give it life, by breathing it into existence, out of your body, and into the world.

Sit with this, even for a few minutes today. Allow yourself to dream, to let your mind wander. Allow that pull on your heart to lead your body and your mind to a new place, a new perspective.

And I am going on the record here to say I am not talking about major life changes, like leaving your job, or moving your family across the country, but for some people, that might be it. But it could also be small incremental change in your life. Prioritizing yourself and the things you love. Finding a balance within your home and relationships where you feel peaceful in how you choose to spend your days. Learning to listen and trust your intuition if you feel like your brain is always holding you back from things that feel a bit wild and uncertain.

This life is not scripted. It’s not a movie with a predictable plot. It’s not linear. There are twists and turns, pandemics and losses, thrilling adventures and the comfort of returning home. We do not have to exist in a state of chaos. And we do not have to exist only within our comfort zones. There’s a quote, I’m not sure who said it, but it goes “A ship is safe in it’s harbor, but that’s not what ships are for.”

We are not trees. We do not need to stay rooted exactly in one place for our entire lives. And I think if anything, we’ve learned in the past few months to be flexible, and to be resourceful, and not to get sappy or sad or anything, but life is short, right? We have this one life, and what we choose to do with it might determine, plain and simple, if we enjoy our lives. We want to be happy. We want to feel fulfilled. We want to feel loved.

So instead of feeling held back by familial obligation, or anyone else’s idea of what your life should be, or your own hangups, because we all have these hangups. We all have things we get stuck on.

What if you just go for it. What if you slowly start giving yourself the time and space to do something new. What if you allow yourself to play a little more? What if you take the time to dream and then start acting on that dream? What do the first steps look like? What if the first step is listening to your own intuition, and learning to trust yourself, that you have what you want and need within you?

A lot of this has to do with trust. In life, there are risks, and we weigh the possible positives and negatives that might happen when we take a risk. But here’s the kicker. Even if the thing you want and desire and explore and feel pulled to doesn’t work out, it’s not a failure. There’s always a lesson to learn. Always a silver lining. Always a takeaway that you can use to determine your next steps. Use your experiences as stepping stones, each one bringing you higher, further, to a greater understanding and sense of purpose.

I’ve been through some incredibly hard, difficult, devastating things in my life, that I can look at and see the glimmers of light within the darkness. So when you are going to take a risk, or try something new, and you find that fear is holding you back, ask yourself this - what is the worst thing that could happen? What’s the worst possible outcome if I do this. And dig deep. Get to the core of the fear.

When I decided to start painting and proclaim to the world that I’m an artist, I confronted a lot of fears.

Who am I to call myself an artist? What if no one really believes I’m an artist, that I’m just some imposter? What if no one likes my work? What if I can’t sell my work and my family doesn’t have money to pay rent and buy food? What if no one takes me seriously? What if, what if, what if…

And what I found was that my fear was tied to a projection of how I thought people would think of me. It was all about perception. And not about the actual painting and creation of art.

So I just started making art, knowing how it made me feel. And I learned and grew to know that it doesn’t freaking matter what anyone thinks of me. I don’t have time in this life to stay small and safe. I have big ideas. I have ideas pouring out my body these days. Who am I to bottle that up and keep it on a shelf for safe keeping?

Because I’m 37? Because I’m a mom? Because I’ve done things a certain way for a long time and now, like Ross in the stairwell holding up a sofa, I’m screaming PIVOT!

So, if you’re finding yourself in a place where you’re also screaming PIVOT, or feeling a pull, or needing a change, I hope you will give yourself the time and space to explore it. Whether it’s a necessary change due to circumstances that may or may not be within your control, or a simple yearning to try something new, I hope you give it a try. Sing that song in your heart, into life. Fear be damned, give it a try. Because one way or another, even if it’s hard, even if it’s scary, even if it doesn’t go the way you expect, it will be worth it. And you are worth it. This beautiful life is worth it.

Thank you so much for listening to this week’s episode. I am grateful for you, and hope you have a wonderful week!


Join the Creative, Happy Life Community on Facebook

Hey there, we just wrapped up an episode of the Creative, Happy Life Podcast. If you enjoyed it and want more - more discussion, more inspiration, more creative community, I invite you to join us in the Creative, Happy Life Community on Facebook! It’s a private group where we discuss episodes, share creative ideas and projects, and generally just have a fun time entertaining each other. Go to Facebook and search for the Creative, Happy Life Community group. There are a couple very simple questions to answer, and then you’re in!

Become an official patron

And before you go, I want to tell you real quick about Patreon, and ask that you consider becoming a monthly supporter! Patreon is a platform for creatives to connect with their fans, receive monthly financial support from their subscribers, and get to spend more time creating and doing the work they love, and less time worrying about where their next meal or rent payment will come from. Patreon gives creatives the ability to create freely and give back to their subscribers in a variety of ways. So for $5 a month, which less than a fancy cup of coffee, you can become an official supporter and Patron of Shannon Sorensen Creative. I have a private community where I share behind the scenes, my works in progress, I do live painting videos and chat with you and offer creative encouragement as I paint, kind of like Bob Ross, I do Q&A videos, and once a month I do a live video where I draw a coloring page that my Patrons get to vote on, and then you get a digital file of that coloring page to keep and enjoy! I chose to set up my platform for general support and interaction, because if you’ve followed my work over the last several years, you know I am always creating and sharing, whether it’s art, writing, or now this podcast show. So, if my work has connected with you in some way, if you enjoy seeing my art, listening to this podcast, or my writing has inspired you, I hope you’ll consider becoming a monthly member! You can go to patreon.com/shannonsorensen to learn more and sign up! Memberships renew on the first of each month, and November 1st is coming up this weekend. I hope to see you in there!


Share the happy!

If you enjoy this podcast, it would mean so much to me if you’d share it with friends, leave a review in the comments, and join me on Facebook to continue the conversation! Follow @creativehappylifepodcast on Instagram for bonus content and a glimpse behind the scenes.

 
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New Home, New Chapter :: Connecticut Artist and Photographer

Connecticut Artist and Photographer Shannon Sorensen, New England Artist, Boston Artist, Hartford CT Artist

I'm typing this from my new dining room...because we moved!

There are boxes and bags and piles of stuff everywhere. There's art that needs to be hung, and honestly, a lot of things are going to go straight into storage for now.

This is the first really peaceful morning I've had in a while to sit down and focus on my own work.

A couple short weeks ago, I had just finished prepping our basement as a preschool/playroom/home learning space when we got a call that our landlord was planning to sell our condo. It felt like our world got completely turned upside-down, but thankfully, we found a new place very quickly! The Universe did us a huge favor and we were able to stay in the same complex, the same school district - actually, the only address change is our street number!

In the grand scheme of things, I feel very lucky. We have an amazing support system of family and friends, and we are safe and healthy.

When big changes happen, it puts a lot into perspective. This move meant taking a lot of emotion out of the equation in order to let go of some things we had stored away for a later time. It was stressful in the short term, but in the long run, this will be a great place for us and the kids. They’ll have space to run around safely outside and our new place will serve us better during this time of home learning, working at home, home pre-schooling, etc.

Since I essentially hit pause on my work a month ago to deal with all of this, I'm itching to get back to my work - to paint, and to dig into the fall photo season. I am still booking fall family photo sessions! I will be in Massachusetts this coming weekend, the 26th and 27th and have two morning openings. I will also be in Massachusetts October 10th and 11th with morning sessions available!

If you're looking to book a session, simply hit reply to this email, or message me at hello@shannon-sorensen.com. I can't wait to hear from you! The chilly weather this weekend has me ready for boots and sweaters! :)

Have a beautiful week!

The Creative Happy Life Podcast Episode 9 :: Act Well Your Part with Meg O'Brien

Episode 9 of the Creative, Happy Life Podcast is part two of my conversation with guest, Meg O’Brien, the Director of Education at the Huntington Theatre in Boston, Massachusetts.

You can listen to part one here, where we talk about theater education and more.

In this episode, Meg shares her journey of falling in love with dance and theater, to getting her BFA at UConn, and personal experiences of love and loss along the way. She was also the first person to answer my “wrap up” questions at the end, and trust me when I say, you’re going to want to listen to every word she says. There are just so much good, inspiring, uplifting, and important things that she shares.

This episode brings up cancer, death, and spirituality, which may be a sensitive topic to some, but I hope by listening, Meg’s journey inspires you to think in new ways, find what makes you happy, and live a beautiful life.

I hope you will join me in the Creative Happy Life Community on Facebook after you’ve listened so we can keep the conversation going, ask questions, get inspired, and connect with other creative minds!

LISTEN HERE, ON SPOTIFY, OR ON APPLE PODCASTS:


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Show Notes

Episode 09

Act well your part; there all the honor lies. - Alexander Pope

Meg O’Brien is back for part two, episode 9, and she is telling her story, her journey as an artist and supporter of the arts.

To be honest, calling her a “supporter” of the arts just pales in comparison to her heart and passion for art and artists. I sat with chills on my arms, often out of breath because I was holding my breath, hanging on her every word.

I hope you enjoy this one, and if you haven’t listened to part one yet, you can listen to it here!

Learn more about places, programs and people mentioned in this episode:

Huntington Theatre Company in Boston, Massachusetts

Berkshire Theatre Group in Stockbridge, Massachusetts

Shakespeare & Company in Lenox, Massachusetts

Sutton Foster, Thoroughly Modern Millie, 42nd Street, Chess, Assassins, Cabaret, Hello Dolly, Hamilton

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Join the Creative, Happy Life Community on Facebook

The CHL Community on Facebook is a gathering place for creative minds to connect, discuss, inspire, and get creative!


subscribe and become an official Patron

As an artist, creative, and entertainer, I have joined Patreon to share a unique look behind the scenes of life as an artist, photographer, podcaster, and writer. Writer? Yup, I have started writing my first book, too!

Your support would mean the world to me!

Patreon is a platform where creatives can do the creative work they love, and get paid by their biggest fans, who invest in their work on a monthly tiered basis. Patrons are investing in the creative work being made and put into the world.

My membership starts at $5 a month (less than a large, fancy coffee), and each tier offers different benefits and access to exclusive content.


Share the happy!

If you enjoy this podcast, it would mean so much to me if you’d share it with friends, leave a review in the comments, and join me on Facebook to continue the conversation! Follow @creativehappylifepodcast on Instagram for bonus content and a glimpse behind the scenes.

 
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Embrace The Powerful Lioness :: New Art and Creative Studio Update

Hey, friend, what are you missing this week?

Three things I miss, in no particular order, are: ice cream from our favorite local shop, trips to the playground with the kids, and our weekly family breakfast outings. We're in a pretty good groove, but those little things I miss will be that much sweeter once we can enjoy them again! Especially the playground. My kids are restless to get out more and run around. Thankfully, sunny, warmer days are ahead!

A couple weeks ago, a dear friend of mine gave me an incredible message - she challenged me to look at areas of my life where I'm playing it small, shrinking myself into neat little boxes for the sake of feeling comfortable and safe.

It was a really powerful conversation that left me spinning. I'm so grateful for these friends who aren't afraid to ask these questions that feel uncomfortable at the time. That's how we get to the good stuff, by digging our hands into the dirt, to feel around where we're rooted and make sure we're giving ourselves the space to not only grow, but blossom and be magnificent.

And she told me "You've been playing the part of a mouse, but you're a freaking lioness."

(she didn't say 'freaking')

And I felt it in the depth of my soul to be true.

I have been telling myself that if I want to be an artist or otherwise creative person, I have to be ok with making art, but not money, to stay small and unknown and struggling. I have been telling myself for years not to “bother” people with trying to sell my work and my services.

I let that voice run free in my head for so long, I started to believe it, and live it. Yikes.

I was scared to sell! I thought that talking about my services would annoy people. I told myself that if they wanted to buy something or hire me, they'd come to me when they were ready.

Typical Libra. :P

Like a marshmallow Peep in a microwave, I was making a real mess of myself on the inside.

So, I decided to get off the struggle bus, and start actually telling you more about what I'm working on, let you know what's new for products and services, and let go of that mouse-like fear.

Bless and release.

Moving forward, I'm a powerful lioness. I encourage you to ask yourself that same question my friend asked me. How are you playing it small and holding yourself back? What have you been telling yourself to keep yourself small and safe and comfortable?

With staying at home the past two months due to Covid-19, unable to do my typical photography work with newborns and families (and losing my main source of income - terrifying), I've had a lot of time to think about the work I've done for the past 10 years, and how I want to move forward, with so much uncertainty in the world. I love being a photographer, but the simple truth is that right now, the world is different, and I can't work the way I have for so long.

So, I joined Patreon!

Patreon is a platform for creators to do their creative work and get paid, by offering exclusive content and rewards to their biggest fans who invest in a monthly tiered subscription.

Why support a creator on Patreon?

Chances are, you've had access to an incredible amount of free content from creators you follow and love. From Youtube videos to podcasts, blog posts and art, creatives want to share their work. Art is healing, and inspiring, and entertaining. For many, they're passing on knowledge and free education. For many of us, the arts are tied to the very blood pumping through our hearts. It keeps us going, especially in difficult times.

You might already be investing monthly in content that you enjoy and consume: Disney+, NPR, Netflix, organizations that work to make the world better...When you love something and want more of it, you pledge and invest!

By pledging a monthly membership to a creative's Patreon feed, you're choosing to support the work they've already put out into the world, and the work that they are currently making, and will make in the future.

And for about the cost of one fancy cup of coffee per month, you can become an Official Patron of my creative work!

What will your investment go towards? Three main creative projects:

My first goal is to produce one new episode of Creative, Happy Life every week. Entertainment, inspiration, knowledge and education that takes time, planning, and work to produce.

My second goal is to make more art - digital and physical - to inspire you and brighten your day! I plan to use Society6 as my platform for selling, but even if you don't want to purchase something there, your Patreon membership supports the creation of the art!

And my third goal, and maybe my biggest goal, is to write a book. I have a particular story in mind, and honestly, besides that, I have no idea what I'm doing. But this goal in particular will be a process I share only through Patreon, with progress updates, excerpts, maybe a read aloud here and there, and an exclusive inside look at the process from start to finish. I haven't started yet, but the time has come!

Becoming a Patron is an investment in the process.

I have started with offering 3 tiers to choose from to make a monthly pledge, each with a unique set of rewards.

Check it out, and consider it an investment, not only in me and the work I have been doing and sharing for 10 years, but the work that I will create going forward. Patreon gives creatives more time and freedom to create, which is a beautiful thing!

Supporting Working Artists and Why I've Joined Patreon

Over the past eight weeks, I have been thinking and planning on how to move forward as an artist, especially at this time where we need to be staying home, and being careful about keeping a distance from others. With all non-essential businesses closed, the photography community has been rocked, and many artists, myself included, have been working hard to figure out if this is a time to wait and see, or make some changes. We can’t shoot weddings. We can’t photograph newborns in the clients’ home.

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If you’ve followed my journey over the past 10 years, you know that in addition to photography, I have done a lot of graphic design work, painting, furniture refinishing, Etsy shops with t-shirts and art prints and crocheted items, and most recently, the launch of my podcast, Creative, Happy Life.

This time spent at home has forced me to think more immediately of what’s next, for myself and my family. I have relied on my photography for the past five years while working from home with young kids, and that income has now been eliminated. So many people are faced with uncertainty right now. I have had a hard few weeks grappling the idea of not knowing when I can get back to work as a photographer, and how the state of the world will affect the way we work going forward. Pair that with now having the uncertainty of schooling at home, and plans have not only changed, but priorities have also changed.

If I had a nickel for every “PIVOT!” joke or reference I’ve seen in the past two months…

The reality is, whether I can photograph clients again sooner or several more weeks from now, I need to find ways to use the skills and knowledge I have now to support my family while working at home.

I have decided to use this time to focus on three areas of creative work:

How do I plan to make this work? With Patreon!

Patreon is a platform for creatives to create exclusive content for their biggest fans. The creator decides what kind of content to make and provide, which can be anything from updates behind the scenes, exclusive writing and blog posts, a special look at works-in-progress, private communities to connect, make tutorials, host livestreams - there are a lot of possibilities!

This content is made available by paying for various tiers of access - becoming a patron of the artist.

How it works: You decide to be come a member, and make monthly payments to view and access the various tiered rewards.

I am currently only offering one tier, although some creators offer several at different monetary levels.

Official Patron - $5/month

  • Official patron status and access to the patron-only feed

  • Behind-the-scenes shares (intentionally different and more interesting than Instagram stories)

  • Work-in-progress updates on everything from paintings and illustrations to upcoming podcast episodes and writing excerpts

  • Private Facebook Community for live chats, Q&As and tutorial videos.

  • My unending gratitude


Why am I so excited about this?

At the core, Patreon is a way for me to connect and share more closely about my work and life as an artist.

With Patreon, fans choose to invest in a creator who’s work they already enjoy and want to support more closely. Artists and creators put out massive amounts of free content all the time, from blog posts to art, podcast episodes to entertainment. Chances are, you’ve enjoyed more free content than you’ve ever realized, whether it’s inspiring, educational, entertaining, or all of those things.

So why not keep putting content out for free? This is work! I love what I do, but I still have bills to pay and a family to support. You pay for the things you love; streaming services, clothes, subscriptions to publications, monthly or seasonal boxes of beauty products or art kits or craft beer…The list goes on. Public radio asks for your support. Restaurants and bookstores are asking for your support. We want to continue to provide you with the things you love, which we love to make.

As an artist, I hope to not only make art and content for you to enjoy, but also make a real living, and ask you to think of this as an investment in not only what you’ve enjoyed so far from me, but what’s to come! It’s an investment in me, for which I am grateful, and humbly step out of my comfort zone in order to ask for your support.

it is more important than ever to support working artists.

By becoming a patron, you contribute towards my ability to produce podcast episodes more frequently, to make more art for you to enjoy, and to have an insider perspective on my process, from ideation to final creation. As I start the process of writing a book and seeking publication, you’ll get a unique perspective as I share the process with you as a patron.

IMG_7650.jpg

I am excited to use my patron-only platform to create tutorial videos, and answer questions about art, photography, podcasting, and life as a working artist.

If you are looking for a meaningful way to support an artist or small business at a crucial time in the world, this is an easy way to do it, and it costs about the same as one fancy cup of coffee from a place that’s happy to take your “bucks”!

So how does it work?

You sign up, pay the monthly fee, and when I share content, it gets shared to you through email, through the Patreon site, and in the private Facebook group. You will pay when you sign up, and will be charged the monthly subscription fee on the first of the month going forward. Once you’re in, you’ll get a link to join the private Facebook community!

What can you look forward to as a patron?

Behind the scenes snapshots and updates about what I’m working on, and exclusive posts about life as a creative that I hope will inspire you to explore your own creativity.

I will be doing monthly live chats in the Facebook group where I’ll share more in depth updates about my projects, show you art that I’m working on, livestream while I paint, edit photos, and maybe even some podcast recording. Eek!

Live “ask me anything” video sessions where you can ask me literally anything! From life as a working artist to my favorite snacks and what I’m watching and enjoying for entertainment, I’m an open book for you within the Facebook community.

Tutorials and tips for shooting your own photos on dSLR or on your phone, how to take better photos of your kids, pets, travel, business and products, how to take better selfies, how to capture a day in the life, how to do a basic photo edit on your phone using free apps, and how to create your own presets.

A Facebook community for creative learning, support and interaction, and to get more regular direct interaction with me.

I hope you will consider becoming an official patron of my work! The sooner you join, the sooner you get to start seeing more from me!

Thank you for your consideration, friends!

The Creative Happy Life Podcast Episode 8 :: The Other Side of Fear with Meg O'Brien

Episode 8 of the Creative, Happy Life Podcast features guest, Meg O’Brien, the Director of Education at the Huntington Theatre in Boston, Massachusetts.

We talk (and by ‘talk’ I really mean I listen in awe to Meg speak) about the importance of theater and the arts to not only education, but humanity. It was more than a treat to have Meg as a guest, and we actually recorded for close to three hours, sooooo….this will be part one of TWO episodes with Meg, because I want you to soak up all the beautiful things she has to say.

I hope you will join me in the Creative Happy Life Community on Facebook after you’ve listened so we can keep the conversation going, ask questions, get inspired, and connect with other creative minds!

LISTEN HERE, ON SPOTIFY, OR ON APPLE PODCASTS:


Show Notes

Episode 08

Meg O’Brien is my guest on episode 8, and she is serving up some beautiful and important truths about the necessity of the arts in education and in humanity. We talked about silver linings during the global pandemic of Covid-19, pushing through fear, and how learning the basic tools of theater will give you skills to carry you through life. Meg talks about how the arts are keeping us sane and how everyone in the world, in some way, is touched by art.

Learn more about places, programs and people mentioned in this episode:

Huntington Theatre Company in Boston, Massachusetts

Director Kenny Leon

Poetry Out Loud - “Poetry Out Loud is a national arts education program that encourages the study of great poetry by offering free educational materials and a dynamic recitation competition to high schools across the country. This program helps students master public speaking skills, build self-confidence, and learn about literary history and contemporary life. Poetry Out Loud is a partnership of the National Endowment for the Arts, Poetry Foundation, and the state and jurisdictional arts agencies.” source POL website

August Wilson and the Century Cycle (also known as Pittburgh Cycle)

Some Good News - a weekly Youtube series created by John Krasinski to share “some good news” happening in the world. The episode we reference in this podcast is episode 2, which features frontline healthcare workers from Boston.

 
 

Join the Creative, Happy Life Community on Facebook

The CHL Community on Facebook is a gathering place for creative minds and hearts who want to continue the conversation following each episode, connect, discuss, inspire, and get creative!


Currently Loving: Instacart

Under more normal circumstances, I don’t mind doing most of my own grocery shopping. But there are days we’re crunched for time, or I just don’t want to drag the kids to the store with me, and I’m happy to rely on someone else to do the shopping for me!

Enter, Instacart - a grocery delivery service that allows you to select and place your order from a number of major retail stores, your order gets shopped and delivered right to your front door within a couple hours.

Your shopper can text you through the app while shopping and ask questions, make substitutions if your selections aren’t available, and adjust your order as needed. You get real time updates while they’re shopping, at checkout, and on the way for delivery.

In this time of physical distancing and staying at home, wait times for orders are increased, so check your app for updated delivery times and be sure to plan ahead!

Try Instacart and get $10 off your first order!


Share the happy!

If you enjoy this podcast, it would mean so much to me if you’d share it with friends, leave a review in the comments, and join me on Facebook to continue the conversation! Follow @creativehappylifepodcast on Instagram for bonus content and a glimpse behind the scenes.

 
 

The Creative Happy Life Podcast Episode 7 :: It's Ok to Not Be Ok

Episode 7 of the Creative, Happy Life Podcast is all about those times when you don’t feel happy or creative. They happen to all of us, and especially in the midst of the events happening in our world right now, there are a lot of big, hard feelings to process.

In this week’s episode, I’m sharing some personal things that have happened during our time staying at home. It’s a bit of a heavier show than usual, but an important conversation to have, about the scope of being human, and the wide range of emotions we experience.

I hope you will join me in the Creative Happy Life Community on Facebook after you’ve listened so we can keep the conversation going, ask questions, get inspired, and connect with other creative minds!

LISTEN HERE OR ON APPLE PODCASTS:


Show Notes

Episode 07

This episode is all about the big, hard feelings you might be experiencing during this weird, uncertain time in our lives and in our world.

I share a personal experience that made the “stay at home” reality feel truly real and hard, as well as the importance of allowing yourself to feel sad, and frustrated. We are experiencing a collective loss in the world. We’ve lost the sense of freedom to go out and do what we want, to go to work, see family and friends, to do all the little things we enjoy in our day to day lives. And if you’re feeling sadness and grief over loss and the heaviness of the world, you’re not alone.

We are not meant to exist in a bubble of feeling creative and happy all the time. With this podcast, I certainly don’t want you to think that’s the message I’m putting out into the world. Do I generally try to see the positive side of things and enjoy being inspired and creative? Of course! But we’re all human, and sometimes we all go through times that are hard, and sad, and not very creative. There’s a balance to everything.

In this episode, I also share a bit of a personal parable from my childhood that is all about falling on my butt, literally chest deep, in thick, heavy mud, while on a clamming outing with my dad. I was physically stuck, the mud was holding me down, and I realized I wouldn’t be able to get back up on my feet without help. My dad, who was taller and stronger and better equipped for navigating the knee-deep mud, saw me struggling, reached out and gave me the hand I needed to stand up and find my footing again.

“When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, “Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.” - Fred Rogers

If you are struggling with depression, anxiety, or need help or support, please reach out to a professional. https://www.mentalhealth.gov/ is a great resource to guide you through seeking help.

My thoughts and opinions on this blog and in my podcast are my own, and should not replace the support and assistance of a mental or health care professional.


Join the Creative, Happy Life Community on Facebook

The CHL Community on Facebook is a gathering place for creative minds and hearts who want to continue the conversation following each episode, connect, discuss, inspire, and get creative!


Currently Loving: Instacart

Under more normal circumstances, I don’t mind doing most of my own grocery shopping. But there are days we’re crunched for time, or I just don’t want to drag the kids to the store with me, and I’m happy to rely on someone else to do the shopping for me!

Enter, Instacart - a grocery delivery service that allows you to select and place your order from a number of major retail stores, your order gets shopped and delivered right to your front door within a couple hours.

Your shopper can text you through the app while shopping and ask questions, make substitutions if your selections aren’t available, and adjust your order as needed. You get real time updates while they’re shopping, at checkout, and on the way for delivery.

In this time of physical distancing and staying at home, wait times for orders are increased, so check your app for updated delivery times and be sure to plan ahead!

Try Instacart and get $10 off your first order!


Share the happy!

If you enjoy this podcast, it would mean so much to me if you’d share it with friends, leave a review in the comments, and join me on Facebook to continue the conversation! Follow @creativehappylifepodcast on Instagram for bonus content and a glimpse behind the scenes.

 
 

The Creative Happy Life Podcast Episode 6 :: Working at Home and Family Life in Covid-19 Quarantine

It’s time for episode six of the Creative, Happy Life Podcast!

This week I have my very first guest - my husband, Sean! We’re stuck at home together, so we might as well make the most of the time, right? In this episode, we talk about how it’s going with both of us working at home, while in quarantine together with the kids, we hear a bit from Lily about distance learning, and how we’re doing adjusting to the weird new normals while we try to flatten the curve.

Join me in the Creative Happy Life Community after you’ve listened to keep the conversation going, make new friends, and celebrate living a happier, more creative life!

LISTEN HERE OR ON APPLE PODCASTS:


Show Notes

Episode 06

This episode features my first guest - my husband, Sean! While we’re all home, practicing physical distancing and hoping to stay safe and healthy away from the Covid-19 virus, we were asked “How are you managing working from home with kids?”

We talk about the whole experience of working from home while parenting, distance learning with our daughter Lily, and how quickly we’ve adapted to a lot of weird new normals.

We also chat about Sean’s comic book collection, communicating and self-awareness, and how in our marriage, opposites really do attract.


Join the Creative, Happy Life Community on Facebook

The CHL Community on Facebook is a gathering place for creative minds and hearts who want to continue the conversation following each episode. Connect, discuss, inspire, and get creative!


Currently Loving: Instacart

Under more normal circumstances, I don’t mind doing most of my own grocery shopping. But there are days we’re crunched for time, or I just don’t want to drag the kids to the store with me, and I’m happy to rely on someone else to do the shopping for me!

Enter, Instacart - a grocery delivery service that allows you to select and place your order from a number of major retail stores, your order gets shopped and delivered right to your front door within a couple hours.

Your shopper can text you through the app while shopping and ask questions, make substitutions if your selections aren’t available, and adjust your order as needed. You get real time updates while they’re shopping, at checkout, and on the way for delivery.

In this time of physical distancing and staying at home, wait times for orders are increased, so check your app for updated delivery times and be sure to plan ahead!

Try Instacart and get $10 off your first order!


Share the happy!

If you enjoy this podcast, it would mean so much to me if you’d share it with friends, leave a review in the comments, and join me on Facebook to continue the conversation! Follow @creativehappylifepodcast on Instagram for bonus content and a glimpse behind the scenes.

Keep Calm and Get Creative :: Tips for Working From Home, At Home Learning Plans and Resources, and 96 Activity Ideas for Kids and Adults

Welcome! If you’re here from Pinterest, I’m a Connecticut-based artist, podcaster and creative mama of two littles. Thanks for visiting!

I originally recorded this podcast episode, and created these printables in March 2020, when we were just learning about Coronavirus/Covid-19 and figuring out what quarantining and remote learning would be like.


Creative Happy Life Podcast Episode 5

Keep Calm and Get Creative

Episode 5 of the Creative Happy Life podcast was recorded on Thursday, March 12 2020, and is all about:

  • tips for people who will be working from home, possibly for the first time

  • ideas and resources for learning activities to do with your kids

  • encouragement for how to tend to your own mental wellness, and perhaps coping and finding calm through creativity

Episode Overview

00:00 Intro

03:00 Practical tips for working from home (also outlined below)

19:42 Practical tips for having your kids home and continuing learning (scroll down for more resources and ideas in this post)

31:05 Self care and using creative interests and hobbies to cope with stress, anxiety, boredom (scroll down for more ideas)


Show Notes

It’s kind of weird and wild out there right now, friends, and if you are making plans to work from home, or having your kids home from school, or BOTH - I recorded this episode to give you some tips. Click the player above to listen, or subscribe on Apple Podcasts to listen on your phone or devices.

As someone who has worked from home AND have done so with one or two kids home at the same time, I would like to offer you some reassurance that all will be well.

With a little planning, patience, and flexibility, we’ll get through this time of weird uncertainty.

Here’s a guide of sorts so you can navigate this post and find what you’re looking for:

  1. Tips for working from home

  2. Ideas and learning resources for keeping your kids home

  3. Ideas and activities to do with kids, your family, roommate, partner, or solo to Keep Calm & Get Creative.


Tips for working from home:

Many Americans are gearing up to work from home for a week, two weeks, or indefinitely, while we ride out the Covid-19, and hopefully flatten the curve of spreading the virus. Even those with jobs that aren’t ever done from home (like my husband’s) are figuring out alternative plans. This is far from ‘business as usual”, so here are a couple tips that you may find helpful in staying productive and mentally stimulated:

  1. Create your workspace. This might be a spare bedroom with a door you can shut, a desk in the corner of a playroom or even your kitchen table. Set up where you think you will be most productive and focused. Make sure you have Internet, remote logins, a way to make calls, and any paperwork or files you’ll need.

  2. Keep to a daily routine. Stick to a schedule that’s as close as your normal schedule as possible. Set your alarm, get up and shower, get dressed, make some breakfast. If you typically go to the gym first thing, find an enjoyable at-home workout video to do instead. Keep your body moving and healthy.

  3. Designate household duty time. One of the biggest distractions from working from home is trying to get housework done (since you’re already home). Designate time that you would normally be commuting for putting a load of laundry in, emptying the dishwasher, or taking out the trash, and then be done with it. Making the mindset shift from “being at home” to “working at home” is important to productivity.

  4. Communicate your plan to your family/roommates/friends. Whether you have a set schedule to log in and work, or a more open-ended to-do list, communicate with those who you share a space with so expectations are clear, and work together to avoid distractions as best you can.

  5. Be flexible. Nothing about this time is normal, and everyone is doing their best to figure it out and keep moving forward. Have patience, keep communications with your team open and honest, and give it your best!

  6. Connect with coworkers or a friend to check in with each other. Especially due to social distancing, it’s no fun feeling closed off to others, and one of my biggest struggles working from home is missing having coworkers or other adults to talk to. Make a daily phone date with a friend or colleague to check in and catch up.

  7. Get some fresh air. Take at least one break that involves going for a walk or getting outside for some fresh air. This of course, depends on your neighborhood and your comfort level with potential crowds or neighbors, but even stepping out on a balcony and saying hello to a neighbor or some squirrels will be good for your brain.

  8. Finish your day and be done. It’s easy to lose track of time working from home, and to just….keep….going….Set your scheduled time to finish, shut down your laptop, turn off your phone, and spending time with your family, make a good meal, watch a show or movie, and get some sleep.



Shop Printable Coloring Pages


Free Activity Apps (or Mostly Free)

Insight Timer - Meditation for Sleep and Anxiety, guided meditations for all ages, music and stories to help you sleep, courses. Choose based on your needs, or search by the amount of time you desire or want to spend meditating.

Go Noodle - Lily told me they use this at school to get up and sing and dance. It looks fun!

Cosmic Kids Yoga - Interactive adventures in yoga, mindfulness and relaxation for kids.


Share the Happy!

Was this post helpful to you? Share the link, pin some images, or leave a comment! Use the hashtag #keepcalmandgetcreative and share activities you’re doing to pass the time. Who knows, you might inspire someone to try something new!


The Creative Happy Life Podcast Episode 4 :: I'm Not a Creative Person

It’s time for episode four of the Creative, Happy Life Podcast!

I’m trying something new this week with producing weekly micro-episodes - this one is just 5 minutes! I will still occasionally produce longer episodes where there’s reason for more narrative or a guest/interview, but I am excited to create these “audio snacks” you can enjoy on a quick errand run, in the bathroom (no shame, we all have our longer “sits”), getting dressed in the morning, or on a quick coffee break!

Join me on Instagram after you’ve listened to keep the conversation going, make new friends, and celebrate living a happier, more creative life!

LISTEN HERE OR ON APPLE PODCASTS:


Creative Happy Life Podcast, Creativity Quotes, Everyone is Creative, Podcast About Creativity, New Podcast, Podcast Art, podcast host Shannon Sorensen

Show Notes

Episode 04

Have you ever been talking to someone, and they say “I’m not a creative person”. Whenever someone says that to me, it just makes me sad, I want to give them a hug and look them in their eyes and say “Yes! Actually you are!!

We need to stop thinking of creativity under the umbrella of talent and skill and final products. Creativity comes in so many forms.

Anywhere you bring your own unique perspective into the world to get something done, you are using creativity. If you take a minute to think about it, I bet you can think of at least one thing in your life that you enjoy that is creative.

Creativity is everywhere, in every day. It’s not in our skills and abilities, but in our curiosity and playfulness. It’s in the trying. And the more creativity we use, the more we have. Ideas evolve, we practice, we try, and try again, maybe not because we are looking for any particular result, but because we just enjoy the process of trying.

Think of the feeling you get when you pick up a paintbrush or a colored pencil or a pen, and touch it to paper. Or when you pick up a hammer and start piecing together a project for your home. Or a wooden spoon and your favorite jar of spice to cook a meal for your family. Think of how it feels to be doing something, making something, that wasn’t there before.

We tend to think of creativity in the way of art and music, so many people write themselves off as not being creative because what they do doesn’t pertain to art. But creativity is more than art, and it’s everywhere. If you’re using materials or your brain, to bring something into the world that wasn’t there before, you are creative.

To create means to bring something into existence. To cause something to happen as a result of one’s actions.

As different as each and every brain that has existed, in billions of different moments, locations and experiences, there are endless possibilities when it comes to being creative. No two people will ever make, or paint, or coach, or cook, or write, or build or play, or perform, or think the same way

Because being a creative person is not only seeing the world differently, but having the courage to explore how you see it. To try something new, in a new way, out of curiosity or inspiration. Creativity is where the reality of your experience meets the playfulness of your  imagination. It has the power to help you express yourself, in whatever way you want, with your unique toolbox consisting of your voice, brain, skills, talent, curiosity, imagination and heart.

So if you ever catch yourself thinking, I’m not a creative person, I hope you take a moment, and really think about all the ways you really are, every single day, in all the things that you do.

Creativity is everywhere, it’s just a matter of how you see it.


Thanks for listening!

If this episode got your creative wheels turning, take a screenshot of this episode on your phone and tag me in your stories over on Instagram. Share a story or your own thoughts on creativity, tag #creativehappylifepodcast, and let’s keep the conversation going!


BECOME A PATREON SUPPORTER!

Patreon is an awesome way for you to support the artists and creators you enjoy! When you make a monthly subscription to become a member, you are not only gaining access to exclusive patron-only rewards (like monthly coloring pages and behind the scenes access), but you’re helping give someone the freedom to do the creative work they love. Not just the work they have to do, but the work they want to do…the work that inspires them and can open new avenues of expression, entertainment and education.

When you subscribe to my Patreon membership, you gain access to a private community where I share sneak peeks, behind the scenes of my day to day as a working artist, live chats and Q&As, and a monthly hand drawn coloring page that members vote on, watch me draw live, and then receive as a digital file to download, print and enjoy!

Join my Patreon!


Spread the word!

If you enjoy this podcast, it would mean so much to me if you’d share it with friends, leave a review in the comments, or save the image below to Pinterest! In the world of podcasting, the more the merrier!

The Creative Happy Life Podcast Episode 3 :: Making Time and Space for Creativity with a Five Minute Morning Ritual

Happy new year, and welcome to episode three of the Creative, Happy Life Podcast! I am so excited to be jumping into 2020 with this episode. The transition into this year and the new decade has felt so different, and this episode is all about how I am doing a very quick morning ritual that has transformed my days to feel calmer, happier, and more focused on what matters.

Join me on Instagram after you’ve listened to keep the conversation going, make new friends, and celebrate living a happier, more creative life!

LISTEN HERE OR ON APPLE PODCASTS:


Show Notes

Episode 03

Hello, my beautiful friends! Welcome to the first episode of the new year! I hope 2020 is off to a great start for you. I have been feeling some really incredible energy as we’ve transitioned into a new decade, and today I want to tell you about a new practice I started, a five minute morning ritual that has helped me to feel happier and more centered, more ME, than I’ve felt in a looong time.

But first, I have to ask you something. Have you ever gone on a vacation, and maybe while sitting on a beach or near a lake or overlooking some mountains or the ocean, you’ve just felt present and peaceful? It’s kind of a weird feeling, where you lose track of time, because you don’t have anywhere you need to go, or anything you need to do. You just kind of sit, and stare, taking in the scenery, the sounds of waves or trees, breezes or birds...and then...you get an idea. You’re feeling inspired, excited, and refreshed. And you come home with a renewed energy.

Or how about this... You step into a hot shower, and assuming you’re not being interrupted by kids every 30 seconds, you have a few minutes, just to yourself, and suddenly like the water pouring out the showerhead, thoughts are pouring into your brain. An idea, a solution. Things you’ve been wanting to figure out, or something completely fresh and new. After a couple minutes you’re scrambling to dry off and write down everything you can remember. Maybe your Notes app on your phone has a note specifically called “Shower Thoughts”.

Or you’re on a long car ride, or maybe your daily commute on the train. A long stretch of time where you can just sit and kind of zone out. Your kids are asleep in the backseat, your partner is asleep next to you, or you have the whole car to yourself to listen to whatever music or podcast or audiobook you want. Suddenly you realize that your thoughts are swirling with ideas, phrases, and you go deeper and wilder into an exciting brainspace.

Lastly, you’re on a walk. In the woods, or in the city, you are just moving along, and you see or hear something that makes you think of something else, which makes you think of something else...and so on, and so forth…

Why am I bringing up these situations? Well, if you find yourself in one of these situations, you might realize that you have your best, most creative breakthroughs. You might have a really big idea. You might find the words you’ve been searching for. You might feel more mentally strong, clear and feel a surge of inspiration and creative energy.

Why does this happen? It’s all about having time to quiet your brain and allowing your mind to wander. When we allow our minds to wander, we imagine, we daydream, and we make space for creativity to flow through us. Instead of keeping all those little, random tabs open, cluttering our thoughts with things that aren’t important or inspiring, we find these moments in our days where we can give our own thoughts and desires some much needed freedom and attention.

Our minds are pretty incredible. When given the time and space to wander freely, the possibilities of our imaginations are endless.

So why is it so damn hard to find this time, this space, to let our minds work their magic?

Because we set up so many mental roadblocks in our days. We overschedule, overwork, and don’t allow ourselves to slow down and rest.

The beginning of every year is so interesting. We’re bombarded by messages of making changes, to ourselves, our habits, our routines, and it’s usually all centered around doing more. Eat healthier, exercise more, schedule your day to optimize your time and productivity, make more time for friends and reading and...it’s just too much. No one ever talks about doing less. No one ever talks about taking it slow. As soon as the clock strikes midnight, we go from zero to sixty into the new year, expecting to transform into this new, better person.

So let me be the person to tell you that I think that’s all a load of garbage. It’s too much. It’s setting yourself up to hit a wall, hard and fast, right around the end of January.

We’re not built to make these extreme fast changes all at once. We’re not made for doing it all, all at once, at a high energy pace. Our bodies and our lives require ups and downs, and that includes a big need for slowing down and doing less.

Think about the holiday season, the weeks leading up to Christmas and the end of the year. It’s a slow build of preparations and excitement, and by the time we hit the end of December, we have maxed out our energy on all the baking and visiting and joy and cheer. And we just need a break. But instead of resting, we get smacked upside the head with New Years. We are catapulted forward before we’ve had a chance to restore ourselves.

Maybe the reason resolutions seem to always fail is because winter is nature’s way of trying to get us to slow down, to hibernate, and take it easy. It’s cold, it’s icy, it’s dark, our bodies are craving warmth and comfort and rest, yet we set ourselves on a steep uphill battle, as if resolving to do it all on January first is a now or never, pass or fail situation.

It’s all wrong. It’s unnatural. And it’s the reason we feel so damn sad and bleak. Our overtired bodies and minds are being stretched thin.

I did a lot of thinking in the week between Christmas and New Years. I felt a different energy in myself, to say screw it to resolutions, and just treat January first like another day. To go with the flow into the new year, enjoy time with my family, and start listening to myself. I had been thinking for years about how great it feels when I go on long car rides and have these creative breakthroughs, or those moments in the shower where the ideas flow, and how nice it feels to have that quiet space to let my mind wander.

As a creative business owner, a mom, a woman, my brain is always running in different directions, always tired, but how often do I make time for it to just slow down and wander? That feeling when you’re walking in the woods and you lose track of time, or when you’re driving and don’t seem to notice how long you’ve been driving for, or how far you’ve gone?

We’ve gotten so used to scheduling our days to the hour and to the minute, adding more activities, more appointments, more tasks on the neverending to do list.

What happens if we decide, and set an intention each day, to do less?

As this year started, I decided to make a change to how I go about my days. I was tired of making to do lists full of tasks that weren’t important. I was tired of thinking every day had to be fun and exciting for my kids to have a good childhood. I decided to start a daily practice, nothing that required much effort, but a small part of my routine that has given me that time to rest my brain and start my day feeling more grounded and focused on what matters, instead of hitting the ground running aimlessly at an unrealistic pace. Each day is a fresh start, with it’s own energy, it’s own things to focus on.

It’s a bit like meditation, I suppose, in the way that this repeated exercise has helped me to find clarity, to breathe, and be more aware of my thoughts, my body and my capacity on a given day. And I have felt more creative, and at peace with saying no to more, because of it.

So are you curious? Do you want to know what I’ve been doing? It’s super simple, and here it is:

Each morning, as I pour my first cup of coffee, I sit down at my dining room table with my little notebook. I don’t sit at my desk or in front of the tv. I leave my phone in the kitchen or out of reach, and spend a few minutes with myself, drinking my coffee and writing. I answer the same six prompts, in the same order, every day. This gives me the minimal structure I know I need to focus this short amount of time each day. If I sat down with an empty notebook to write something open-ended, I’d sit all morning! I have a blog and podcast scripts that fulfill my creativity in that way. This daily practice is a personal check in, kind of like having coffee with your best friend or a quick chat with a coworker before you sit down to start your day.

Here are the six things I write each morning.

First, I start with gratitude. I write one sentence, and it can be anything, whatever I am grateful for in the moment. It has taught me not to overthink everything, and to find gratitude in small things. By intentionally starting my day with thoughts of gratitude, I have seen a significant difference in my mindset for the rest of the day. There is nothing feels terrible or insurmountable when I have centered my mind and my heart on the good things I have in life. 

And if you really can’t think of anything, you can always acknowledge your basic needs being met. You have air to breathe, food to eat, clothes on your body and a roof over your head.

There is always something to be grateful for.

The second thing I check on is how I am feeling. I write 1 to 3 sentences about how I’m feeling physically, mentally, and spiritually. It’s important to make sure it’s not how I hope to feel, but how I actually feel. Some mornings I’m tired, grumpy, foggy or or overwhelmed. My energy has peaks and valleys. Some days I’m surprised to feel focused and motivated.

By doing this, I am practicing self-awareness, which will affect how I go about my day. I might feel ready and creative and motivated to get a lot done, or I might intentionally give myself an easier day so I can rest and allow myself to feel tired. I’m learning more and more that our bodies signal us when they need to slow down or rest, and I have started giving myself a big serving of grace on the days I know I’m not feeling great.

This also helps me to think about what I can do to feel better, which might be a midday nap, or opening the curtains and letting the sun in. Some mornings call for putting on some soothing music.

The third check in is writing down one specific thing I want to do for myself that day. I try to make sure it is something creative or self care, like spending time painting, trying a new dinner recipe, doing a facial before bed, or simply going for a walk and breathing some fresh air. Most days my schedule revolves around caring for everyone else in the house, and devoting my energy to things that need to get done. So this one is really important. I ask myself what I want out of the day. How do I want to feel? What can I do for myself to feel good?

The fourth is a Top Three list. I write down my top three productivity priorities for the day, the things I need to really get done to move the needle forward. This can be work or personal. Instead of running around and getting overwhelmed by all the small distractions, and a trivial list of to-dos, I practice focusing on three super specific things I need to do that day. Everything else can maybe get done later, or saved for another day.

The fifth thing is a Brain Dump. I give myself a minute or so to jot down any and all random thoughts that are cluttering my brain each morning. Remember that saying about our brains having too many tabs open? The goal here is to close some of those tabs by writing down reminders, ideas, things I want to get done at some point but aren’t really pressing. Anything that’s possibly distracting me by keeping it in my brain, I write it down. When I take a minute to do this, I feel more mentally calm and clear, more focused and ready for the day ahead.

And last, but certainly not least, I write down an affirmation for myself. If you are a fan of Parks and Recreation, you’re probably familiar with the quirky, but uplifting things Leslie Knope says to her best friend, Ann Perkins. Things like, “You are a poetic and noble land-mermaid.” and “You are a beautiful, talented, brilliant, powerful musk ox.” Or my personal favorite, which she says to Ann, who just gave birth, “You are the most beautiful, glowing, sun goddess ever.”

So I channel my inner Leslie, put on my proverbial positive pants and write down something, just for me, to give myself a boost as I start the day. It can be motivational, empowering, or silly. But it’s just for me.

And then I close my little notebook and start my day.


By making this part of my daily routine, just like I shower and brush my teeth and eat and breathe, I have prioritized myself and my own needs. It’s not enough to just go through the motions each day, and for a long time, I have put my family first, which is certainly not a bad thing, but we have to take care of ourselves, right? As a creative person, heck just as a person, I need and deserve to focus more on my own needs. We give, and give, and give some more to our friends, our families, strangers on the internet.

So imagine the change we could make by turning our time, our energy, our positivity, more inward? To make sure our cup is not only full, but also not being dumped out over and over and over again.

Do you have five minutes a day to give yourself? Do you have five minutes to let your mind wander, to check in with yourself, and give yourself a pep talk? Use this episode as your guide for each of the six prompts. Here’s a quick recap for you:

What are you grateful for, right here and now?

How are you feeling today, in this moment? How is your energy? Your body? Your mind?

What do you want to do for yourself today? What will make you feel good, or creative, or accomplished, or rested?

What are your real top priorities today? Not tomorrow, or for the whole week or month ahead. Just today.

Write down all those random thoughts and ideas. Do a brain dump, close out some of those tabs that are cluttering your brain.

And give yourself a positive affirmation. Speak encouraging, empowering words to yourself.

And then go have a beautiful day, you bright, warm ray of sparkling sunlight.


Creative Happy Homework: Start a 5-minute daily check-in.

With each episode, I hope to nurture a community of creative minds and hearts who want to continue the conversation. If this episode got your creative wheels turning, join me over on Instagram. Share a story, tag #creativehappylifepodcast, and let me know what you’d like to hear in future episodes!

Are you going to give this daily five minute personal check-in a try? I’d love to hear from you so I can send you some encouragement!


Chatbooks

Mama, it’s time to get those photos off of your phone and into the hands of your family!

Chatbooks makes designing and printing photobooks so ridiculously easy. Whether you want to upload from your computer or straight from your phone (which I prefer), their one-image-per-page layout takes the guesswork out of designing a whole book, so you can simply select your favorite photos, pick your cover and book size, press order, and wait with excitement for your book to arrive!

Chatbooks are square, customizable and come in a variety of soft or hardcovers with designs for all years, seasons, holidays, special occasions and milestones. I love them for our yearly family photobooks, although, confession time: I do two books per year because I have the hardest time narrowing down my favorite pictures!

I love flipping through our Chatbooks with Lily and Roo, reminiscing over our favorite everyday moments from over the years. There’s just something so special about holding a physical book of personal photos in your hands - a feeling that scrolling through your phone just can’t capture.

Save $10 on your first Chatbooks order.


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My Daily Routine as a Work at Home Mom and Small Business Owner

When I worked full time at my corporate job, I yearned for a life where I could make my own schedule, be home with my babies (who at that point, were still just a dream), and do work that I loved and truly cared about.

Now, ten years later and five years into the work at home life, I have some reflections to share!

The grass isn’t always greener.

Boom. I said it. We tend to think of what we don’t have through this beautiful ideal lens. But there are definitely both pros and cons to working inside and outside the home.

For instance, some days, I’m perfectly fine with not seeing people, not leaving the house, putting my head down and getting to work. Other days, I really miss having coworkers and those quick (or sometimes long) chats in the kitchen while getting my 3pm coffee. The social aspect of working from home is difficult, and I have to actively seek out lunches, coffee dates and meetups with other entrepreneurs, which has taken some time to form those friendly relationships.

Productivity is another variable. When I worked my office job, I definitely had days I didn’t get a lot done. I wasn’t focused, or I had more meetings than active desk time. I thought, “Someday when I work from home, I’ll get so much done because I won’t have anyone telling me what to do. My house will be so clean because I’ll be able to get housework done between tasks. There will be so much freedom!”

Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha……Oh, Shannon from 2011-2014…

Yes, there’s freedom, but honestly, my house was cleaner when I worked in an office! This is because I wasn’t home all day, everyday, with my husband and toddler and young child, using the kitchen, bathroom and living spaces to play, craft, do homework, work and make 3 meals a day. When we were all out of the house all day, every day, the house was untouched and much easier to keep tidy.

There’s also more pressure most days working from home and running my own business. My productivity and creativity are directly tied to my growth and success. Where I could technically show up to an office job and know how much I’m getting paid on Friday regardless of how much work is actually getting done, I need to ensure that I maximize the hours of the day to keep my business moving forward and growing.

I want to offer you a realistic look at what my typical day looks like as a work at home mom, running a creative small business.

Since I wear many hats throughout the day, creatively, as a business owner, and as a mom, I thought I’d share more of a what an “ideal” day looks like. There’s a lot of variance depending on if I have a shoot, if I’m volunteering at Lily’s school, if the kids are having meltdowns, or if we have activities in the afternoon/evening.

7:00am: I get up, shower and get dressed. It doesn’t take long because I don’t dry my hair or put on makeup, and I’m usually wearing leggings and a sweater to work from home. On a more ideal schedule, I’d be waking up at 6:15 to workout first. Baby steps. And some days, I don’t shower until later in the morning or afternoon.

7:20am: Wake up the kids and get Lily dressed for school. Roo stays in comfy jammies most mornings unless we plan to go out somewhere.

7:30am: We go downstairs and I make breakfast for the kids, which they eat while watching Disney Junior or Sesame Street. While they’re eating, I brew my coffee, make Lily’s lunch, make sure she has her homework and books in her backpack, and scroll a little on Facebook or Instagram.

8:00am: Time to get Lily ready to get out the door. I take her out to the bus at 8:10, and Roo stays in the house on colder days like today, finishing his breakfast and watching Mickey. Sean is usually waking up and coming downstairs to start his day. I try to let him sleep in a bit because he doesn’t get home from work until 1am most nights.

8:15-8:30am: I pour some coffee and sit down with my daily check-in journal. I try to spend a few minutes writing down my gratitudes, a mental and physical check-in, do a brain dump for the day, and write down an affirmation to start my day in a positive mindset.

8:30-9:00am: I sit with Roo, drink some more coffee and eat something breakfast, usually greek yogurt or some scrambled eggs. I look at my planner and what I need to accomplish for the day.

Working at my dining room table so I can keep an eye on Roo while he plays independently.

9:00-11:30am: If I don’t have a photo session booked or I’m not volunteering at Lily’s school (I help out at her library twice a week), this is my time to sit down and dig into work. I usually sit at the dining room table with a laptop so I can keep an eye on Roo while he’s playing, unless I have a lot of photo work to do. If that’s the case, I sit at my desk in the corner of the living room. With Sean’s current work schedule, he’s home during the day, so we play it a bit by ear. I usually do my social media planning, writing, work on my weekly email newsletter, update my website, and the less fun “business” work in the mornings.

I drink 2-3 cups of coffee in the mornning and sometimes I put it in the microwave to reheat, and don’t find it until the next day.

11:30am: Lunchtime for Roo! I make his lunch and do some more work while he’s eating.

12:30pm: Naptime! I bring Roo up to his room to nap, and at this point, if I haven’t showered yet, I do that. If I have showered, I come back downstairs and make my own lunch. Sean and I sometimes eat together and usually watch a short cooking show. If I remember to, I throw a load of laundry into the washer.

1:00-3:00pm: The Naptime Hustle. This is my quiet time of day to work, and I try to spend it on my creative projects, like photo editing, illustrating, designing, or working on podcast scripts. Sean is still home and usually reading, watching a show or running errands. If I don’t have a heavy workload to do, or if it’s a busier evening of activities, sometimes I use this time to make dinner so Sean can take something fresh to work and I can get the kids fed quicker and easier.

3:00-3:30pm: The golden half hour of my day. Sean leaves for work, Roo is still napping and Lily is still at school. If I have podcast recording or editing to do, I do it in this small time block. If not, I answer emails and knock off small tasks that only take a few minutes.

3:30-4:00pm: Roo wakes up and we get Lily off the bus. I get the kids a snack, make myself a cup of tea or coffee, and we get settled in for the afternoon.

Around 4pm I am transitioning more into mom mode, but am happy my kids get to see me working, too.

4:00-5:00pm: Lily does homework and then she and Roo have time to play or read. I try to squeeze out another hour of work with the understanding that I’ll probably be interrupted.

5:00pm: I do my best to transition out of work and into mom-mode, spending about 20 minutes cleaning up, putting in a load of laundry, unload the dishwasher, stuff I would typically do if I were just getting home from working at an office.

5:30-6:00pm: Prep and make dinner while the kids chill and watch a show.

6:00-7:00pm: Eat dinner with the kids, sometimes at the table, sometimes watching a show. We clean up dinner and do a 15-minute pick up of any toys or books that need to be put away. Make sure Lily’s backpack is ready to go for the next morning.

7:00-8:00pm: Bedtime! The kids take a shower or bath, we get pjs on, brush teeth, and spend some time reading before bed. Some nights they are like wild beasts running around and jumping off furniture. Other nights they are burnt toast. Some nights I am burnt toast. I have started to let Lily stay up a little longer to read. Many nights I stay in their room a bit longer, and play lullabies on my phone while catching up on social media.

9:00pm-1:00am: Oh gosh, it depends on the night. I have stopped trying to do any work after the kids go to bed, as that’s a surefire way for me to fall asleep sitting up at my desk. I usually stay upstairs, put away some laundry or clean up my room, if I think of it I’ll do a nighttime face mask and read or crochet. Sometimes I’ll have a glass of wine and watch Outlander for 3 hours straight. Sometimes I fall asleep sitting up while scrolling Instagram. There are many nights I stay up until Sean gets home at 1am.

That’s a very typical day for me! We have afternoons where Lily gets home and we have to get right back out the door for dance classes or Scouts. We occasionally squeeze in a mid-week playdate or Target run. But right now in the wintertime, if we don’t have to go anywhere, we hunker down for the evening.

It’s not perfect, but honestly, I feel very lucky to get to spend this time at home with Andrew during the day, and be home to get Lily off the bus. Some days we spend more time playing or running errands, going to the playground when its warmer or the library when it’s chilly and we need to get out of the house. We go out for breakfast once a week as a family, and have settled nicely into our non-traditional family schedule.

And it’ll all change in a couple weeks when Sean starts working days! He will be home around the same time as Lily is getting out of school! I am very excited for this change, since I currently go non-stop with work and parenting from 7am-9pm. Being on my own most nights for dinner and bedtime, while we have gotten used to it, is very tiring.

And while some days are not as productive as I’d like them to be, I am thankful for what I am able to do with a flexible schedule to be home with my kids. If I need to, I can easily take a laptop to dance class and hammer out an email blast or blog post, or take my kids to visit their grandparents on the weekend while I have a photoshoot.

The life I dreamed about 10 years ago is here, and it’s beautiful. Messy and chaotic, but beautiful.

The Creative Happy Life Podcast Episode 2 :: This is Us/Me/You

Welcome to episode two of the Creative, Happy Life Podcast! In this episode, I’m tackling the subject of storytelling as a means of creating connection, understanding, and empathy. I share a couple personal stories that I consider to be a core piece of my “backstory”, that has directly affected who I am, and where I am, today. We all have a story inside us. What’s yours?

LISTEN HERE:


Show Notes

Episode 02:: This is Us/Me/You

Trigger warning: I am sharing a little bit about my miscarriage in this episode. Nothing graphic, but how storytelling helped me cope with grief through connection.

Hello, my friends! And welcome to episode two! Today I am talking about storytelling, and how important it is to create connection, understanding and empathy. But first! I want to take a moment to say thank you for your kind words, feedback and support following the launch of this podcast back in September. Your response has meant so much to me, and to paraphrase the words of Emma Thompson in the movie Late Night, I hope to earn the privilege of your time.

I’m going to start sharing a review at the beginning of each episode, and if something you hear on this podcast inspires you, or makes you happy, please take a moment to leave a review on iTunes! Every review and rating helps get this show recommended to more and more potential listeners. 

This week’s review is from addictedpinner1 who wrote “A fresh new podcast for creatives!

Shannon keeps it real and fun (and that’s just episode one!) Can’t wait to hear more from her! Creatives need to stick together!”

Yes, we do! I firmly believe that creativity inspires more creativity! There are so many people and things that inspire me, and I hope to pay it forward with inspiring, insightful and fun entertainment with each episode. Thank you so much for that review, addictedpinner1. 

And if reviews aren’t your thing, there are other fun ways to show your support - you can take a screenshot of your phone while you’re listening and share it on Instagram, and tag creativehappylifepodcast. You can share this episode with a friend through text, or share it to Facebook. Even just leaving a comment over on the podcast Instagram brightens my day!

So let’s get started!

First, a confession. This episode? I’ve recorded it three times. It’s been a struggle. I put a lot of pressure on myself. And if I’m being honest, I was being a perfectionist instead of just doing the dang thing! Remember episode one? Perfection doesn’t exist. So I pushed episode two off for nearly two months, trying to get it just right. And all I really needed to do was cut the crap, show up and do the work.

So storytelling...humans have been sharing stories for as long as we’ve existed. We’ve passed down glimpses and anecdotes, lessons and epic tales. We decide what stories will be passed on, and how we will share them, bearing our hearts, minds and souls in our writing, in songs, and in art.

We all want to be remembered, right?

Storytelling makes you vulnerable. In choosing which stories you share, you open yourself up to a whole slew of possible repercussions. But we keep sharing, because most importantly, stories create connection. They help us to better understand. They inspire us, they comfort us, and at the root, make us feel. We see ourselves in the stories of others. We see glimpses of things we can relate to, we want to know more, we anticipate what’s next.

Think about a story that compels you. Fact or fiction, what about a story appeals to you? The person or character? Lots of action? Conflict? Lessons learned?

I am a big fan of character development and backstory, which is probably surprising to, oh, no one. It’s easier with books and shows and movies. You get to know a character in the present, and then you get these pieces of their personal history unfold as it relates to where they are now. You get to see cause and effect. Crossroads. Turning points. These pieces give you a glimpse into why the character behaves a certain way, or makes a certain choice.

The more that’s shared, the more is understood.


We’re all complex characters, right? We all have things that have happened to us in life that explain who we are today.

Let’s do a little exercise. And just a warning, this might get your brain rolling, which might be a good thing, or might be an uncomfortable thing. But that’s life, right?

Ok, so if you’ve seen the Pixar movie Inside Out, you know what I mean when I ask you to think of a “core memory”. In the movie, core memories are things that happened to the character Riley, a young girl going through some big life changes when her family moves and she’s growing out of the little kid stage into adolescence. As life goes on and we grow and we change, our core memories, the things that have the most impact on who we are, also change.

So I want you to think about a couple memories, core or not, that really shaped who you are, or how your path has unfolded. 

One of mine is from when I was around 14, a freshman in high school. I remember thinking to myself, I’m not going to go to college. I’m not going to work in an office. I have big dreams, and I want to do big, important things with my life. At 14, that dream was moving to New York and auditioning for musicals and being a big Broadway star. Well, ok, reality check, I went to college and graduated and got a corporate job that I stayed at for 9 years. But that mindset I had when I was 14? That stuck with me. I knew I wanted to find something in life that I could do that was bigger, important and lasting. So I took up photography. I’ve photographed hundred of beautiful, important moments. I captured milestones and celebrations and love and loss and have seen my photos displayed in homes and shared after loved ones have passed.

I am pretty sure I got my dream.

Another core memory: I’m 22. I just graduated college and moved to Connecticut. I was living with a roommate and starting my corporate job. I was excited to finally live near Sean after four years of dating long distance. 

And he broke up with me. Two weeks after moving away from home, starting a new chapter at a new job and feeling like I was at the start of something new and exciting, the rug got ripped out from under me. I called my mom in tears and she told me she’d come get me. She help me repack my things and she’d bring me home. And I said no. I told her I’d stay. I don’t remember exactly if it was intuition or stubbornness or wanting to save face and not be seen as “the girl who moved for a boy and got dumped before she unpacked her suitcase”, but I decided in a moment I’d stay. I had a job. And an apartment. And some new friends. And I had hope. And a couple months later, after figuring out how to communicate with each other, Sean and I got back together, and two years later we were living together and engaged. And we’ll celebrate our 10th wedding anniversary in a couple weeks. 

But sometimes, I wonder how different life would be if I had moved home. If I quit that job and lived with my parents. I’m so glad that’s not how things turned out. But that decision, that crossroads, defined my path.

And maybe you didn’t know that that happened. This was way before everything was on Facebook and Instagram. I remember changing our relationship status and that’s how I communicated what had happened. It felt raw and vulnerable to put that part out there.


As a photographer, I tend to look at life in moments and memories. Sometimes I’ll watch the world around me and see “frames” of moments. Sometimes I say a little “click” in my head, little things and big things, and wonder if other people see things the same way. 

It’s kind of like watching an episode of This is Us. You’re watching the story of this family unfold, and you get these little flashbacks that deepen the story, that help us understand what a character is thinking or feeling. We can relate. Things make more sense. 

We’re all so much more than what we see on the surface. Every single one of us has a backstory. Every single one of us has things happening right now, or yesterday, or a week ago, or longer, that are impacting us and those around us.

We all have stories to tell, if we want to.

Last, I want to talk about connection. The power of sharing stories can mean connection in a world that feels really big and confusing and scary. We share memes about marriage and motherhood and work and family and we all have a laugh, but what’s happening is we’re connecting through a shared experience.

When someone posts on Instagram that they’re just having one of those days and feels like a failure and one kid pooped in the tub and the house is a complete disaster and they just can’t even - they’ll probably get more than a few comments saying “Same, my friend.” This is relatable. I’ve been there. You’ve got this. Sending you love. Life is hard. Thank you for your honesty, because me too.

A year ago, I lost my third pregnancy. I was almost 16 weeks along, we’d just found out he was a boy, and had told Lily, and shared with our family and friends. I had announced on social media. And then he died. And it was so hard. But all I knew to do was write about it. I shared what had happened, and I wrote about my grief as it came, and through sharing this incredibly raw, painful year of my life, I connected. So many women, girls I went to high school and college with, people I barely knew, friends, women in my family, reached out and shared their stories. It was hard as hell, but even in the worst time of my life, I felt loved. I wasn’t alone. And my heart hurt for all the women who have been through it and didn’t, or couldn’t, share. 

Because at the root of all of this, our experience isn’t new. Nothing is new. I do not think I am all that special. But without sharing these stories and experiences, we would just see the surface. We have the opportunity to go deeper. To love deeper. To connect deeper. To experience life deeper. And yes, sometimes feel sadness and pain that is so, so hard. But in that pain, we all need to know we’re not alone, if only we allow ourselves to get a little vulnerable, a little uncomfortable, and find the voices who reach out from unexpected places and say “me too”.

So, how can we share our stories in a way that’s meaningful and lasting? We can write. We can speak. We can compose. We can paint and write poetry. We can message an old friend, or visit a grandparent or aunt or uncle. It doesn’t matter how we share, or what we share.

What matters is why. For our kids, for better understanding. For lessons to be learned. For decisions that will be made. To laugh, to cry, to entertain and feel loved and to experience that moment when you, yourself, can be the one who reaches out to someone and tells them they’re not alone.

We all want to feel connected. We all want to feel loved. We all want to be remembered.

So, what’s your story?


With each episode, I hope to nurture a community of creative minds and hearts who want to continue the conversation. If this episode got your creative wheels turning, join me over on Instagram. Share a story, tag #creativehappylifepodcast in your post or in your story. Let me know if you have a story to share but aren’t sure how to express it.

Or open up a journal or Google Doc and start writing. Even if you never share it with another person, there’s a story in you, waiting to be told.

Thanks for listening, my friend. I’m grateful for you, and hope I earned the privilege of your time.

Until next time, stay awesome.


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My Wellness Journey :: The First 10 Pounds

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The Short Version

On October 13, Sean and I started a program called Omada to make small, but impactful, changes to improve our health. We’ve made healthy food and daily activity a priority, and one month in, I have lost 12lbs. I’ve decided to journal my progress so I can see how far I’ve come each month, and also maybe encourage others who want to make changes for their health. It’s not an easy road, but we’re determined to do the work so we can feel better and set healthier examples for our kids.

The Longer Version

 I wasn’t sure if I wanted to document this, because health and wellness can be a complicated topic to tackle. There’s a lot to unpack and deal with besides working out and eating better, starting with habits formed in childhood. But if you know me, you know I write through what I’m going through, and maybe someone, somewhere, might be going through similar changes or setting big goals.

If I post about my health and wellness journey, I’ll be writing about some stuff on a deeper level, like marriage, parenting, and my own mental health. I have a lot to unpack here.

Selfishly, I want to come back and read this a year from now and amaze myself at how far I’ve come. I have big, scary goals.

So here I am, about to spill all the beans about how I lost the first 10 pounds and what I’m dealing with. No holding back.

A little backstory

As early as third and fourth grade, in my ballet class, I was comparing my body to my peers. I’m not sure how this awareness began, but it was there, staring me in the wall of mirrors. I wasn’t chubby, but I could see a difference between my own body and the thinner girls my age. I didn’t feel like I looked like a ballerina, but I loved dance and it was time I got to spend with my friends!

I remember being in fifth or sixth grade, and being aware of the number on the scale, and that it seemed higher than it should be for someone my age. It was an age where puberty was starting, and we were watching videos in health about our bodies changing. Growth spurts were happening and I wasn’t sure if it was ok or if something was wrong with me. There was a lot more chatter about our bodies on the bus, at recess, and at sleepovers. I was aware that there were concerns within different generations of my family about weight, and that exercise was important for all of us. I know now that it was concern for other family members, but I couldn’t help feeling like I needed to lose weight, too.

I was an active kid, dancing and playing softball, cheerleading and doing show choir. I wasn’t running cross country, but I was strong. But I always had this image in my head that I was “bigger”. That carried into my teens and adulthood.

All things considered, I have had a very positive attitude about myself all my life. My insecurities come up here and there, but I have generally done a good job at accepting myself as I am, no matter what size or changes. It’s important to me to model that for my own kids, so they don’t grow up with the same heightened awareness and worries.

Where I am today

About a month ago, my husband, Sean, and I started a wellness program that focuses on making small, but impactful, changes to improve our health. so that going forward we can make healthy choices, and live a healthy, active life. In the four weeks that we have been on this program, I went from 234.5lb to 222.4lb. I have lost over 10 pounds, with some day to day fluctuating that happens as a human and a woman. While this feels like a big accomplishment (and it is), I have very big goals for myself, and for the first time in a long time, I know I can achieve them. I feel a little crazy putting my numbers out there for anyone to read, but I want to be candid with you, because I’m sure every month will be different, and typically the first few weeks yield the most rapid results.

On the Topic of Body Positivity vs Shaming

There is so much out there in the blogging and influencer world, and even in the media in general, about body positivity and releasing the shame that has strapped so many of us for so long. It’s important to me to say that making these changes isn’t about “getting skinny” and making my body smaller, but rather, getting healthy.

I am actually at risk for Type 2 Diabetes and heart disease, and do not want to be struggling for the rest of my life. The weight that I’ve gained since getting married and pregnant with Lily has mostly been in my midsection, making it appear that I am pregnant, when in fact I’m not. This type of weight is dangerous for many reasons, plus it adds stress to my back, knees and ankles. I am only 5’5”, so the weight gain has drastically changed my body over the years (in addition to pregnancy, two c-sections and breastfeeding).

Over the past 10 years, I have gradually put on 75lb, and when I see myself in the mirror and in photos, I don’t recognize myself. I grew out of all my clothes and lost a lot of confidence. And it affected so many areas of my life, from my marriage and parenting, to my professional life. When you get home from photographing a family session and all you can think about is how much your back, knees, and ankles hurt, it’s hard to ignore that there might be a problem. I want to be able to play on the floor or at the playground with my kids and not feel like I pulled something. I want to walk up my stairs without getting winded.

Yeah, it got that bad.

And to speak my truth, it’s also about how I look. I lost pride in taking care of myself for a long time. I only felt comfortable wearing baggy or elastic clothes. When I had to get dressed for a job or wedding or meeting, I felt like an awkward fish out of water, unable to simply dress myself. While looks aren’t everything, when you own a business, it can affect how people see you. I want to feel more confident and have more energy to put into my work and my family. All of these things are valid and important.

And part of it is aging, which I am well aware of. I’m 36 years old, so I know my body is very different from it where it was 10 years ago. But I also know that I want to live a long healthy life, and look back at this time like they were the best years of my life. I am not trying to “get my body back”. The body of my youth is gone. But I want to optimize what I have right now, today.

What We’ve Changed

This is a lifestyle that Sean and I both had to get onboard with. We both work non-traditional hours, so we really needed to support each other and continue to make these changes with the common goal of being present and healthy for each other and the kids. Breaking years of bad habits is not easy and takes daily commitment.

The first big change we tackled was getting active.

Sean is home during the day on his current schedule, so we started going for daily walks while the weather was still nice. We’d walk for an hour, usually 3.5 miles, and on days it was rainy, we’d do a 30 minute workout at home or use the treadmill. We did this the first couple weeks. Now that it’s colder, we are doing at home workouts like:

C25K (free training app to run 5k in 8 weeks)

Jillian Michaels 30-Day Shred with weights - a 30-minute, full body workout of 3 circuits focusing on 3 minutes of compound movement, 2 minutes of cardio and 1 minute of abs.

Kettlebell circuits (we started with 15lb)

Simply Fit Balance Workout Board (I got mine at Aldi and use it while I’m watching Netflix)

Yoga with Adrienne when I have my period and feel like garbage.

And on warmer days, we try to get out for a brisk walk around our neighborhood. We take the kids for a long walk at the park and then let them play for a while at the playground. We both have Apple Watches and track our activity throughout the day, have reminders to stand every hour and walk around, and take time to breathe.

We were very sedentary before this, watching a lot of tv or sitting for hours at the computer working. We slept poorly and on weekends, we’d hang out at home playing video games, watching shows or movies. If we brought the kids to the park, we’d sit on the bench while they played. We weren’t excited to move, and were modeling the same for our kids.

Now we get move as much as we can, and the whole family is benefiting.

CHANGING OUR FOOD

Food habits have been the more important change for all of us. We were eating mostly carb-based meals and snacks every day, and lots of added sugar. Sean has Celiac Disease, so we keep 95% of the food in the house gluten free (besides a couple snacks Lily takes to school like Goldfish), but that doesn’t necessarily mean it was healthy. A lot of gluten free foods are actually worse for your because of the flour blends they use.

We had to simplify everything and start getting the kids used to these changes as well. We’ve been focusing on meals that are quick and easy with simple ingredients we keep on hand anyways. Most dinners are chicken or turkey and vegetable based. We swapped french fries and potatoes for quinoa and sometimes brown rice, but we’ve tried hard to just eat more veggies instead of trying to add grains to every meal.

I don’t drink much anymore because it just makes me tired and bloated. Even before we started this program, I stopped drinking one or two glasses of wine per night a long time ago. I don’t like feeling like I need wine at the end of the day. I don’t! I drink a lot of flavored seltzer, plain water, coffee and tea. I put oatmilk or fat free half and half in my coffee, or a little honey and milk in my tea. I was probably consuming half my daily calories just with my coffee for a long time, which is crazy to think about.

Our diet prior to these changes looked like a nightmare. Mac and cheese, pizza, chicken nuggets, fries, ice cream, chips, pasta….and not a lot of veggies at all. And we ate large portions and were not exercising. It was all comfort and no nutrition, and creating awful habits for the kids. It was no longer just affecting us.

It’s Not Rocket Science

We’ve kept it as simple as possible. We don’t track calories or macros or anything like that. We make sure our meals are mostly good and not too big in portion size. We drink a lot of water. I stopped adding sugar to four cups of coffee per day. We make sure to be active every day. And if we still want our Sunday night pizza, I make one pie instead of two (I make gluten free crust from scratch) and we have a salad with it.

When you think of it as simply as input versus output, it makes everything a bit easier. Small changes every day do add up over time.

It’s not easy - it’s work

I used to tell myself that my body wasn’t capable of losing weight and that it would always be a struggle. I wrote myself off as a lost cause. It took admitting some very hard truths to realize how bad things had gotten and to decide to commit to living healthy every day.

It sounds easier typing it out, but it’s a bit consuming. Going from sedentary to adding exercise or activity every day has felt like a full time job at times. Figuring out what works for us as a family has been key. Sean and I are both home during the day, but I also need to be working on my business. I can’t spend half my day driving somewhere to hike, then coming home to shower and only have an hour or so to work before Lily is home from school. So we are constantly tweaking our days to make it work. I haven’t quite figured it out yet, and by the time I do, our schedules will probably change again.

HABITS AND MINDSET

This is an ongoing process of breaking years of bad habits and mindsets. Everything we are changing is about confronting old mentalities. I have to think three steps ahead of myself right now to stay on track. I know that if I sit on the couch and watch tv at night, I’ll want a snack, not because I’m hungry, but because it’s a habit. So instead, I bring a bottle of water or seltzer upstairs with me when I’m putting the kids to bed, and then I don’t go back downstairs. I put myself to bed, and once I’m in bed and warm, I’m not getting up for any snacks. I’m also ensuring that I’m going to sleep earlier, which is another benefit. I used to put the kids to bed and stay up until 1am editing photos or watching tv, snacking or having a glass of wine until Sean got home. I was wrecking my body in many small ways.

I also know that if I don’t have a plan for our meals, I’ll opt for convenience, which usually means unhealthy. This goes for myself and the kids, so I need to be prepared for the week, at least a couple days ahead of time. I make sure we have healthy snacks on hand, and I have good options for breakfast and lunch for myself since I work from home. Sean is great at finding healthy recipes, so his job is to send me recipes and then I do the grocery run and cook. We try to pick meals that will have leftovers for at least a day or two so I’m not cooking every night.

We’ve been thinking ahead about the holidays and what we plan on making for various meals. There’s so much junk associated with the holiday season, and we’ve gotten so used to consuming these things at parties, or just because it’s December. So we’re trying to be mindful and pick and choose if and what we really want. Instead of alllll the things, what are our most favorites? And we can enjoy them without gorging. I can make one batch of my favorite oatmeal cookies instead of a triple.

parenting through health changes and challenges

I’ll be honest, this is not easy or fun. I am not a health nut by any means. I love chips and snacks and wine and tacos and chocolate. I’m also not an extremist, so if I really want something, I really think about it, make sure I’m meeting my activity goals, and have a little instead of, you know, an entire bag of chips with a jar of salsa. But for now, it’s just best if I don’t keep that stuff in the house. With kids who enjoy treats, that is not easy, so we’re all learning together to make healthy choices.

My greatest concern in all of this is to make sure I am not projecting any of this on Lily. She is seven and very intuitive and smart. She’s also a picky eater with a sweet tooth. So we’re focusing on talking about how healthy food gives our bodies good fuel to function well every day. And how good energy and being active makes us strong so we can enjoy fun things like dancing, going for family walks and playing at the playground.

I have to be mindful of how I talk about myself, and not focus on getting “smaller”, but framing it as the fact that our bodies are changing and getting stronger. We talk about how unhealthy foods can make us feels compared to how we want to feel. And we discuss how it’s not ok to comment on other people’s bodies, because bodies come in all different shapes and sizes, and you never know if someone might be struggling, sad, sick...It ties into kindness and giving compliments, not making comments.

My ultimate goal is for my kids to be as healthy and active as possible, and not thinking about how they look. We focus on how we feel, and having fun. We’re changing how we see snacks and treats we enjoy as something to enjoy as an actual treat and not an every day indulgence.

Ending the Clean Plate Club

I could write a whole other post on parenting a picky eater, and maybe I will at some point. I made a lot of mistakes with Lily when she was little, and now she doesn’t like trying new things, so mealtimes can get a little stressful. I’m trying to focus on making sure she has healthy options available to her every day, and letting her know that she can decide how much fills her up and satisfies her. I grew up in a house with the “Clean Plate Club” and eating everything on my plate was the goal. Except, sometimes there would be a lot of food on my plate! So, I didn’t really learn to eat until I was satisfied, I ate until I was stuffed. Even now, I struggle with leaving food on my plate and saying I’m done.

By focusing on having healthy options for all our meals and snacks, I don’t worry so much about one meal a day. It would drive us all crazy and create food issues that I don’t want her to have. If she doesn’t want what’s for dinner, that’s her choice, she can have water or milk and then it’s bedtime. Sometimes by the end of the day, kids are just done with eating. Their bodies are smaller and have different needs. We encourage trying at least a bite of everything on the plate so she can taste and decide if she likes it and wants more, but I can’t use threats when it comes to food. That’s not good for anyone.

Looking at the scope of the food eaten over the course of the week instead of each individual meal was recommended by our pediatrician and helps me to not stress over every meal, every day.


That’s where I am so far, at the start of all of this. I am going to try to check in each month and let you know how it’s going, what we’ve been working on and dealing with.

I appreciate you reading all of this, and let me know if you have any questions!

 
 

Grateful

This year has been weird and hard. 

I've experienced some of the happiest moments in my life, watching Lily and Roo grow and bond and become siblings who love each other fiercely and annoy the crap out of each other. The days are passing quickly, sometimes it feels like lightspeed and I wake up and the kids are just bigger, like it happened overnight. Lily is going into first grade and Roo is suddenly a very active little toddler. They amaze me every day. I keep asking time to slow down just a little bit, but it doesn't.

Over the winter, I found a lump in my breast. It took my breath away. I had signed up for an app called Check Yourself and it sends me monthly reminders to do a self exam. I found this lump, very small, but it was there and it wasn't there before. It completely freaked me out, as it had been so long since I'd been to a primary care doctor. I literally did not know what to do. I didn't know how to call a doctor's office and ask to be a new patient and also, I found a lump in my breast and am terrified. 

For a week before seeing my doctor, my perspective shifted. My world was rocked. It was awful. My mind went to terrible places. 

I won't drag anything out for dramatic effect. I am ok. I ended up having my first mammogram and a diagnostic ultrasound, and it was fine. It was a fibroid that they said might hang out in there or go away, and to keep checking and let them know if I notice any changes. 

In the three weeks between feeling it, having my doctor's appointment and then the mammogram, we celebrated Roo's birthday. I felt like a different person, like I was having an out of body experience. My spirituality suffered. I questioned everything and at the same time, prayed and begged for it to be nothing. 

I'm grateful that I'm ok. I'm in awe of those who aren't, but go about their lives and get shit done and have positive, inspiring things to say. It freaked me out how quickly I started thinking of "what ifs". It numbed me with fear many days. I hope I never feel that way again. I keep many friends in my heart and in my prayers who's lives are touched by cancer and disease. It's just not fair.

Life is moving fast. I'm terrified of missing it, to the point where I probably annoy the hell out of my family with photographing the mundane stuff. But that is where my heart sings. Those little everyday moments feed my soul. The stuff that most don't see as important - that's my whole world. 

So when I talk about how important photography is, I'm not feeding you a line. It's a lifeline. It ties us to each other. It keeps us afloat and it keeps us grounded. Seeing the people who are the most important to you, being vulnerable and unguarded, is a gift. We can all sit and smile for a camera. That's easy. But witnessing these little moments through a photo...it helps time slow down, just a little. 

And for that I'm grateful.

So if you haven't been to the doctor in a while, go. If you haven't done a self-exam in a while, do one. Don't wait. Don't let fear hold you hostage. Don't brush off your health. You are important. We need you here, in your family pictures. We don't ask that you're perfect, only present. 

I'm grateful for you. 

To Andrew, On Your First Birthday

Dear Roo,

Today you are one. No amount of thought, self care or planning could prepare my mama heart for today. I rocked you to sleep last night, smelled your freshly washed little head (it smells like love) and smiled as your breathing grew deeper and you let out the gentlest and cutest of snores. We listen to a playlist of lullabies and songs that I compiled on my phone each night, and as I stood to put you in your crib, Seasons of Love came on. 

So I cradled you a little bit longer. I gave you a few more kisses on your apple cheeks. I let you wrap your chubby little finger s around my thumb and just listened to the song as we swayed.

In daylights, in sunsets, in midnights, in cups of coffee...how do you measure a year in the life? How about loooooooove.....

Yeah, it felt a little corny, but we do corny pretty well in our family. 

You were born one year ago after I spent a weekend putting my body under too much stress. I  moved furniture Friday night, had a newborn session Saturday morning, did more cleaning Saturday afternoon, photographed a 6 month old session Sunday morning, and then drove some bumpy backroads Sunday afternoon up to Central Massachusetts for my cousin's baby shower. I rubbed my belly and tried to ignore the ache that was present in my back. "I just did too much this weekend. I'll rest tomorrow."

Monday morning came and I dropped Lily off at preschool. It felt like you were going to fall out of me. There's no other way of describing it. There was low pressure and I was certain I was going into labor. A visit to the doctor told us there was no official progress, but something just felt off. I couldn't ignore it. We called Mimi to come down for back up. 

I spent the day with my feet up and Daddy picked up Lily from school. Mimi arrived around 4 and Daddy left for work. I got started making chicken tikka masala in the Instant Pot for dinner. I set the pot to cook and sat down on the couch to rest. And then I felt like I peed my pants a little. Ugh, I got up to go pee. There was some bleeding. I panicked. I finished up and stood to wash my hands and felt another gush. I knew that feeling. The same one I had with Lily. I sat back down on the toilet and took a deep breath. I hollered to Mimi that my water broke and that I needed my phone to call Sean. I immediately went into labor mode and all shame went out the door. Pants around my ankles, amniotic fluid coming out in gushes. There's no such thing as modesty once it's go time. 

Sean came home and packed our bags. It was a feeling of calm excitement. Unlike when I had Lily, I knew what was ahead. I knew we would have a c-section. I knew that within a couple hours, you'd be in my arms. Lily would have a little brother. Our world would be forever changed. 

I hugged Lily tightly and explained as best and calmly as I could that Daddy and I were going to the hospital to have her baby brother. She was excited, but also tired from the day, as a four year old should be. She snuggled up on the couch with Mimi to eat dinner and watch Moana. We told her she could come visit in the morning to meet you. 

The next couple hours were a blur. We went to the ER, I got a wheelchair and the contractions started getting stronger. I was strangely grateful to be able to experience that part of labor. When I knew I'd have a scheduled c-section, it felt like something was taken from me, a bit of excitement and anticipation, the feeling of my body doing "what it should". So I was happy to go through those cramps, to feel that gross feeling of sitting in an oversaturated pad, because when your water breaks, it's not just a cute little gush and then it's over. Imagine someone intermittently turning a water faucet on over and over again, in different intensities and for a quick second or what feels like forever.

We went through all the registration once we were in a room. All the physical checks ("Yes, you're in labor!" "I KNOW.") and everything becoming very official, and a little scary ("Here, sign this form about what to do in case you might die in surgery."). Then I walked to the OR. Walked. Because life is weird. In my bare feet, holding my gown shut in the back (because sometimes you want a very small feeling of modesty, even when you are about to be laying butt naked on a metal table having your belly cut open).

Everything was different from your sisters birth this time around. Everything was more calm and expected. My OB came into the OR in rubber rain boots. Bright red. I'll never forget that. She's a smart woman, that Dr. Flagg. I remember sitting up and leaning forward, having my back numbed and the anesthesia being put in. No pain. Lying down under those super bright lights. I don't remember the lights being so bright when Lily was born. I had tears in my eyes and was exhausted then. This time, I was calm, well rested, excited. 

And then you were out! They put you on my chest and I got to see your face. There were tears, and I puked, which was weird, but you just snuggled up to me and we had time. Something I didn't have with your sister. I could look at your face, and study it, and you looked at mine. They didn't take you away from me. I got to hold you and recovery was spent with you and your daddy, not alone in a room that felt like a closet.

I didn't plan on recounting the day of your birth like this. But I put my baby to bed last night and woke up with a one year old, so I am finding myself clinging to these details. I want to remember everything. This year went by so fast. It's been an odd juxtaposition of experiencing so much joy with you while the world seems to be hurting so much every day. I look to you to stay hopeful and focused, joyful and seeing the best in people. Together we enjoy the little things in life.

We've spent nearly every day together. I've watched you smile for the first time, learn to sit up, to laugh, to crawl and play. I've watched you get teeth, discover the joy of food (yes, it's amazing and you want to eat allll the things), and guzzle down milk like it's your job. We've spent sleepless nights rocking together, countless naps on the couch with your daddy, and lots of snuggles with your sister. You are a snugglebug to the core. 

You're a funny little guy. You have a smile for everyone. You love watching people. You're not walking yet, but you are crawling SO fast. One of these days you are just going to take off running, I'm sure of it!

It's hard not to compare you to your sister. Not in a competitive way, but just in the way of observing how similar you are in some ways, and completely different in others. She is a sound sleeper, whereas you are restless and will wake at the sound of a creaking floor. She is a picky eater, whereas you are a bottomless pit and will eat us out of house and home. Some days you look exactly alike, and other days, I see distinctly different features, different glimpses of faces from different sides of our families. I see a lot of your Great-Grampa Clark in you and when you smile. I see your Uncle Jason (from baby pictures of his I've seen) in you when you are just waking up, cheeks full and red, sleepy eyes and crazy curly bedhead sticking out the back.

I never dreamed I could feel so much joy and love in my life. Being your mama is the best job in the world. Watching you and your sister grow, and witnessing your relationship develop, is everything a mama could hope for. You are crazy about each other, but you also drive each other crazy in a way that only siblings can. She is so proud of you. She tells everyone we meet that you are her brother, and how old you are, and that sometimes you're a little pest, but you're a cutie patootie and she loves you. 

I will miss having a baby in the house, but we're already on to the next stage. You are finding ways to entertain yourself, you're getting into everything, and you just make us laugh. You're finding your voice, imitating sounds (hiccups are your favorite) and we can see your little brain firing off something new every day. 

If there's one thing I've learned in motherhood, it's that time will not slow down. There's no pause button. There are no retakes or do-overs. I struggled with so much when your sister was a baby. Everything felt so big and momentous and the passage of time scared me. So I am doing the best I can to savor each day, each snuggle, each dinnertime giggle and bedtime cuddle. I let go of your baby clothes (but keep a couple favorites), teething toys, and things that you no longer need. I prepare my heart for all the milestones to come, and I slowly chip away at filling out your baby book and organizing the photos, so many photos, of your first year. I forgive myself that I didn't write long blog posts for each month of your first year, as I did with Lily. I took more photos on my phone than with my "big, fancy camera". I am working on simplifying parenthood so I can enjoy you more, and worry less. There's a joke that the second child gets "less" because life is that much more chaotic and busy and crazy, but I feel like you are getting more of who I really am. You helped me find myself as a mother this year. You completed our family, and we just love you so much.

Happy first birthday, Mr. Sweet Face. 

Love,

Your Mama