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The Short Version
On October 13, Sean and I started a program called Omada to make small, but impactful, changes to improve our health. We’ve made healthy food and daily activity a priority, and one month in, I have lost 12lbs. I’ve decided to journal my progress so I can see how far I’ve come each month, and also maybe encourage others who want to make changes for their health. It’s not an easy road, but we’re determined to do the work so we can feel better and set healthier examples for our kids.
The Longer Version
I wasn’t sure if I wanted to document this, because health and wellness can be a complicated topic to tackle. There’s a lot to unpack and deal with besides working out and eating better, starting with habits formed in childhood. But if you know me, you know I write through what I’m going through, and maybe someone, somewhere, might be going through similar changes or setting big goals.
If I post about my health and wellness journey, I’ll be writing about some stuff on a deeper level, like marriage, parenting, and my own mental health. I have a lot to unpack here.
Selfishly, I want to come back and read this a year from now and amaze myself at how far I’ve come. I have big, scary goals.
So here I am, about to spill all the beans about how I lost the first 10 pounds and what I’m dealing with. No holding back.
A little backstory
As early as third and fourth grade, in my ballet class, I was comparing my body to my peers. I’m not sure how this awareness began, but it was there, staring me in the wall of mirrors. I wasn’t chubby, but I could see a difference between my own body and the thinner girls my age. I didn’t feel like I looked like a ballerina, but I loved dance and it was time I got to spend with my friends!
I remember being in fifth or sixth grade, and being aware of the number on the scale, and that it seemed higher than it should be for someone my age. It was an age where puberty was starting, and we were watching videos in health about our bodies changing. Growth spurts were happening and I wasn’t sure if it was ok or if something was wrong with me. There was a lot more chatter about our bodies on the bus, at recess, and at sleepovers. I was aware that there were concerns within different generations of my family about weight, and that exercise was important for all of us. I know now that it was concern for other family members, but I couldn’t help feeling like I needed to lose weight, too.
I was an active kid, dancing and playing softball, cheerleading and doing show choir. I wasn’t running cross country, but I was strong. But I always had this image in my head that I was “bigger”. That carried into my teens and adulthood.
All things considered, I have had a very positive attitude about myself all my life. My insecurities come up here and there, but I have generally done a good job at accepting myself as I am, no matter what size or changes. It’s important to me to model that for my own kids, so they don’t grow up with the same heightened awareness and worries.
Where I am today
About a month ago, my husband, Sean, and I started a wellness program that focuses on making small, but impactful, changes to improve our health. so that going forward we can make healthy choices, and live a healthy, active life. In the four weeks that we have been on this program, I went from 234.5lb to 222.4lb. I have lost over 10 pounds, with some day to day fluctuating that happens as a human and a woman. While this feels like a big accomplishment (and it is), I have very big goals for myself, and for the first time in a long time, I know I can achieve them. I feel a little crazy putting my numbers out there for anyone to read, but I want to be candid with you, because I’m sure every month will be different, and typically the first few weeks yield the most rapid results.
On the Topic of Body Positivity vs Shaming
There is so much out there in the blogging and influencer world, and even in the media in general, about body positivity and releasing the shame that has strapped so many of us for so long. It’s important to me to say that making these changes isn’t about “getting skinny” and making my body smaller, but rather, getting healthy.
I am actually at risk for Type 2 Diabetes and heart disease, and do not want to be struggling for the rest of my life. The weight that I’ve gained since getting married and pregnant with Lily has mostly been in my midsection, making it appear that I am pregnant, when in fact I’m not. This type of weight is dangerous for many reasons, plus it adds stress to my back, knees and ankles. I am only 5’5”, so the weight gain has drastically changed my body over the years (in addition to pregnancy, two c-sections and breastfeeding).
Over the past 10 years, I have gradually put on 75lb, and when I see myself in the mirror and in photos, I don’t recognize myself. I grew out of all my clothes and lost a lot of confidence. And it affected so many areas of my life, from my marriage and parenting, to my professional life. When you get home from photographing a family session and all you can think about is how much your back, knees, and ankles hurt, it’s hard to ignore that there might be a problem. I want to be able to play on the floor or at the playground with my kids and not feel like I pulled something. I want to walk up my stairs without getting winded.
Yeah, it got that bad.
And to speak my truth, it’s also about how I look. I lost pride in taking care of myself for a long time. I only felt comfortable wearing baggy or elastic clothes. When I had to get dressed for a job or wedding or meeting, I felt like an awkward fish out of water, unable to simply dress myself. While looks aren’t everything, when you own a business, it can affect how people see you. I want to feel more confident and have more energy to put into my work and my family. All of these things are valid and important.
And part of it is aging, which I am well aware of. I’m 36 years old, so I know my body is very different from it where it was 10 years ago. But I also know that I want to live a long healthy life, and look back at this time like they were the best years of my life. I am not trying to “get my body back”. The body of my youth is gone. But I want to optimize what I have right now, today.
What We’ve Changed
This is a lifestyle that Sean and I both had to get onboard with. We both work non-traditional hours, so we really needed to support each other and continue to make these changes with the common goal of being present and healthy for each other and the kids. Breaking years of bad habits is not easy and takes daily commitment.
The first big change we tackled was getting active.
Sean is home during the day on his current schedule, so we started going for daily walks while the weather was still nice. We’d walk for an hour, usually 3.5 miles, and on days it was rainy, we’d do a 30 minute workout at home or use the treadmill. We did this the first couple weeks. Now that it’s colder, we are doing at home workouts like:
C25K (free training app to run 5k in 8 weeks)
Jillian Michaels 30-Day Shred with weights - a 30-minute, full body workout of 3 circuits focusing on 3 minutes of compound movement, 2 minutes of cardio and 1 minute of abs.
Kettlebell circuits (we started with 15lb)
Simply Fit Balance Workout Board (I got mine at Aldi and use it while I’m watching Netflix)
Yoga with Adrienne when I have my period and feel like garbage.
And on warmer days, we try to get out for a brisk walk around our neighborhood. We take the kids for a long walk at the park and then let them play for a while at the playground. We both have Apple Watches and track our activity throughout the day, have reminders to stand every hour and walk around, and take time to breathe.
We were very sedentary before this, watching a lot of tv or sitting for hours at the computer working. We slept poorly and on weekends, we’d hang out at home playing video games, watching shows or movies. If we brought the kids to the park, we’d sit on the bench while they played. We weren’t excited to move, and were modeling the same for our kids.
Now we get move as much as we can, and the whole family is benefiting.
CHANGING OUR FOOD
Food habits have been the more important change for all of us. We were eating mostly carb-based meals and snacks every day, and lots of added sugar. Sean has Celiac Disease, so we keep 95% of the food in the house gluten free (besides a couple snacks Lily takes to school like Goldfish), but that doesn’t necessarily mean it was healthy. A lot of gluten free foods are actually worse for your because of the flour blends they use.
We had to simplify everything and start getting the kids used to these changes as well. We’ve been focusing on meals that are quick and easy with simple ingredients we keep on hand anyways. Most dinners are chicken or turkey and vegetable based. We swapped french fries and potatoes for quinoa and sometimes brown rice, but we’ve tried hard to just eat more veggies instead of trying to add grains to every meal.
I don’t drink much anymore because it just makes me tired and bloated. Even before we started this program, I stopped drinking one or two glasses of wine per night a long time ago. I don’t like feeling like I need wine at the end of the day. I don’t! I drink a lot of flavored seltzer, plain water, coffee and tea. I put oatmilk or fat free half and half in my coffee, or a little honey and milk in my tea. I was probably consuming half my daily calories just with my coffee for a long time, which is crazy to think about.
Our diet prior to these changes looked like a nightmare. Mac and cheese, pizza, chicken nuggets, fries, ice cream, chips, pasta….and not a lot of veggies at all. And we ate large portions and were not exercising. It was all comfort and no nutrition, and creating awful habits for the kids. It was no longer just affecting us.
It’s Not Rocket Science
We’ve kept it as simple as possible. We don’t track calories or macros or anything like that. We make sure our meals are mostly good and not too big in portion size. We drink a lot of water. I stopped adding sugar to four cups of coffee per day. We make sure to be active every day. And if we still want our Sunday night pizza, I make one pie instead of two (I make gluten free crust from scratch) and we have a salad with it.
When you think of it as simply as input versus output, it makes everything a bit easier. Small changes every day do add up over time.
It’s not easy - it’s work
I used to tell myself that my body wasn’t capable of losing weight and that it would always be a struggle. I wrote myself off as a lost cause. It took admitting some very hard truths to realize how bad things had gotten and to decide to commit to living healthy every day.
It sounds easier typing it out, but it’s a bit consuming. Going from sedentary to adding exercise or activity every day has felt like a full time job at times. Figuring out what works for us as a family has been key. Sean and I are both home during the day, but I also need to be working on my business. I can’t spend half my day driving somewhere to hike, then coming home to shower and only have an hour or so to work before Lily is home from school. So we are constantly tweaking our days to make it work. I haven’t quite figured it out yet, and by the time I do, our schedules will probably change again.
HABITS AND MINDSET
This is an ongoing process of breaking years of bad habits and mindsets. Everything we are changing is about confronting old mentalities. I have to think three steps ahead of myself right now to stay on track. I know that if I sit on the couch and watch tv at night, I’ll want a snack, not because I’m hungry, but because it’s a habit. So instead, I bring a bottle of water or seltzer upstairs with me when I’m putting the kids to bed, and then I don’t go back downstairs. I put myself to bed, and once I’m in bed and warm, I’m not getting up for any snacks. I’m also ensuring that I’m going to sleep earlier, which is another benefit. I used to put the kids to bed and stay up until 1am editing photos or watching tv, snacking or having a glass of wine until Sean got home. I was wrecking my body in many small ways.
I also know that if I don’t have a plan for our meals, I’ll opt for convenience, which usually means unhealthy. This goes for myself and the kids, so I need to be prepared for the week, at least a couple days ahead of time. I make sure we have healthy snacks on hand, and I have good options for breakfast and lunch for myself since I work from home. Sean is great at finding healthy recipes, so his job is to send me recipes and then I do the grocery run and cook. We try to pick meals that will have leftovers for at least a day or two so I’m not cooking every night.
We’ve been thinking ahead about the holidays and what we plan on making for various meals. There’s so much junk associated with the holiday season, and we’ve gotten so used to consuming these things at parties, or just because it’s December. So we’re trying to be mindful and pick and choose if and what we really want. Instead of alllll the things, what are our most favorites? And we can enjoy them without gorging. I can make one batch of my favorite oatmeal cookies instead of a triple.
parenting through health changes and challenges
I’ll be honest, this is not easy or fun. I am not a health nut by any means. I love chips and snacks and wine and tacos and chocolate. I’m also not an extremist, so if I really want something, I really think about it, make sure I’m meeting my activity goals, and have a little instead of, you know, an entire bag of chips with a jar of salsa. But for now, it’s just best if I don’t keep that stuff in the house. With kids who enjoy treats, that is not easy, so we’re all learning together to make healthy choices.
My greatest concern in all of this is to make sure I am not projecting any of this on Lily. She is seven and very intuitive and smart. She’s also a picky eater with a sweet tooth. So we’re focusing on talking about how healthy food gives our bodies good fuel to function well every day. And how good energy and being active makes us strong so we can enjoy fun things like dancing, going for family walks and playing at the playground.
I have to be mindful of how I talk about myself, and not focus on getting “smaller”, but framing it as the fact that our bodies are changing and getting stronger. We talk about how unhealthy foods can make us feels compared to how we want to feel. And we discuss how it’s not ok to comment on other people’s bodies, because bodies come in all different shapes and sizes, and you never know if someone might be struggling, sad, sick...It ties into kindness and giving compliments, not making comments.
My ultimate goal is for my kids to be as healthy and active as possible, and not thinking about how they look. We focus on how we feel, and having fun. We’re changing how we see snacks and treats we enjoy as something to enjoy as an actual treat and not an every day indulgence.
Ending the Clean Plate Club
I could write a whole other post on parenting a picky eater, and maybe I will at some point. I made a lot of mistakes with Lily when she was little, and now she doesn’t like trying new things, so mealtimes can get a little stressful. I’m trying to focus on making sure she has healthy options available to her every day, and letting her know that she can decide how much fills her up and satisfies her. I grew up in a house with the “Clean Plate Club” and eating everything on my plate was the goal. Except, sometimes there would be a lot of food on my plate! So, I didn’t really learn to eat until I was satisfied, I ate until I was stuffed. Even now, I struggle with leaving food on my plate and saying I’m done.
By focusing on having healthy options for all our meals and snacks, I don’t worry so much about one meal a day. It would drive us all crazy and create food issues that I don’t want her to have. If she doesn’t want what’s for dinner, that’s her choice, she can have water or milk and then it’s bedtime. Sometimes by the end of the day, kids are just done with eating. Their bodies are smaller and have different needs. We encourage trying at least a bite of everything on the plate so she can taste and decide if she likes it and wants more, but I can’t use threats when it comes to food. That’s not good for anyone.
Looking at the scope of the food eaten over the course of the week instead of each individual meal was recommended by our pediatrician and helps me to not stress over every meal, every day.
That’s where I am so far, at the start of all of this. I am going to try to check in each month and let you know how it’s going, what we’ve been working on and dealing with.
I appreciate you reading all of this, and let me know if you have any questions!
