There have been many times in my life that I have made the decision to cut sugar out of my coffee. I’d do it for a few days or a couple weeks, and then I’d slowly start adding that sweetness back in. I chalked it up to my personal flavor preference for something I enjoyed consuming, and that was that.
I typically made this decision at the start of a health kick. My thought process went something like, “Sugar is bad. I put a lot of sugar in my coffee. I drink a lot of coffee, so I drink a lot of sugar. If I cut out the sugar, that will be a healthy decision for me.”
I would do this for a week or so, and inevitably start adding sugar back in, because the coffee was too bitter, too…gross, really, for me to enjoy.
But this week, I had a bit of an epiphany. I am making some major lifestyle changes to combat weight gain and bad cholesterol, so one of the first things I did? Cut the sugar out of coffee. And I’m sitting here drinking my cup, which has half and half and cinnamon in it, and guess what popped into my head…
What if I don’t actually like coffee?
As someone who drinks anywhere from 1-4 cups of this per day, it seems like a valid question to be asking.
Do I actually like coffee, or do I just like sugar?
And the jury’s still out on that question. I want to give it a fair shot to see if cutting sugar out of all areas of my diet results in adjusting my taste buds. But, this brought up another question…
Why do I feel the need to like coffee so much? And what else am I holding onto day after day, year after year?
I have been drinking it since I was 14. I remember sneaking tastes of it from my mom’s morning cup and thinking it was disgustingly bitter. And then, one night at the beach with a friend, she gave me a thermos fully of “mocha”. I had no idea what mocha was, and she told me it was coffee with cream and cocoa in it. Wow! I Love cocoa! I gave it a try and was hooked. I started drinking mocha. I gradually started making coffee without cocoa, adding scoops of sugar instead.
For over 20 years, coffee has been a central part of my daily routine. Grabbing a cup at a local coffee shop with friends, grabbing a big morning cup from Dunkin on the way to work, school drop off, or embarking on a two-hour drive between Connecticut and Massachusetts.
The “Mommy needs coffee” mindset that has taken over social media, graphic tees and seeped into our core beings. It has played a supporting role in the social theatrics of motherhood and working from home. It’s been around for so long, it’s become part of my identity. I am a coffee-drinking artist.
But the question remains…do I actually like coffee?
I’m sure there are people who do. And perhaps it’s a matter of finding a brew that has a good flavor that I do enjoy. But again, what if I just don’t like it?
Oh coffee, why can’t I just quit you?
I have quit quite a few things this past year that I don’t enjoy, that no longer serve me, and don’t feel good. Maybe it was being home and being with myself for so long that these changes came pretty easy. I stopped wearing bras in general, and switched to comfier bralettes and camis. I stopped pouring my nightly glass of wine or beer while making dinner (and the second drink after the kids went to bed). I realized that I didn’t enjoy it anymore, and it was giving me regular headaches and tummy troubles. And again, the whole “Mommy needs a drink” mindset felt icky and not a good story I want to embody.
Pants with zippers and buttons? Buh-bye. I am a curvy person who enjoys her stretchy clothes. Screw the patriarchy and capitalism for making me think I have to wear certain things at all, especially constricted clothes that don’t expand and contract with my feminine body throughout the day and month.
And the best breakup has been no longer automatically going to Amazon for every little thing out of convenience. Jeff Bezos doesn’t need my money, and I don’t need convenience when it comes to most things I’m looking to purchase.
So today, I am just putting this out there for anyone who may need to hear it:
You can stop doing the things that you do out of habit, that you don’t enjoy, that no longer serve you.
You don’t need anyone’s permission. You don’t need to make a big thing out it - I mean, let’s ignore the fact that I am writing an entire blog post about possibly breaking up with coffee, and may have also tweeted about it this morning…
Cutting the cord on things that no longer serve you, and no longer make you happy, allows you to open up space and energy for things you do enjoy.
It may not seem like that big a deal, but when you stop and think of all the things you continue to do out of sheer habit, how much are you holding onto?
And who is keeping that habit locked in? Is it you? Capitalism? Family or friends?
Or do we simply keep on keeping on because it’s what we’re used to, and the idea of letting go brings up some discomfort?
So here’s your homework…
Take five minutes and reflect, make a list, jot down one or a few habits you hold onto that you actually don’t like, or no longer serve a purpose to who you are today. Sit with the feelings that come up. And start actively letting them go.
Some things will be easy to release.
Others may take more time, and incremental change.
But as Marie Kondo teaches us in the practice of letting go of things, it may just be as simple as asking: Does this bring me joy? Do I actually like this?
The answers might be clearer and easier than we ever realized.
Let go of all that weighs you down, and discover how high you can really soar.
Love to you all, and have a beauty filled day.
Shannon Sorensen is a Connecticut-based artist, photographer, writer and creative spirit. She’s a work at home mama to two wonderful young kids, and hopes her art and writing inspire you to explore your own creativity, or at the very least, bring some light to your day.
If you enjoy Shannon’s art and writing, you can support her ongoing creative work by supporting her art shop, or simply tipping the artist below.