Welcome to episode two of the Creative, Happy Life Podcast! In this episode, I’m tackling the subject of storytelling as a means of creating connection, understanding, and empathy. I share a couple personal stories that I consider to be a core piece of my “backstory”, that has directly affected who I am, and where I am, today. We all have a story inside us. What’s yours?
LISTEN HERE:
Show Notes
Episode 02:: This is Us/Me/You
Trigger warning: I am sharing a little bit about my miscarriage in this episode. Nothing graphic, but how storytelling helped me cope with grief through connection.
Hello, my friends! And welcome to episode two! Today I am talking about storytelling, and how important it is to create connection, understanding and empathy. But first! I want to take a moment to say thank you for your kind words, feedback and support following the launch of this podcast back in September. Your response has meant so much to me, and to paraphrase the words of Emma Thompson in the movie Late Night, I hope to earn the privilege of your time.
I’m going to start sharing a review at the beginning of each episode, and if something you hear on this podcast inspires you, or makes you happy, please take a moment to leave a review on iTunes! Every review and rating helps get this show recommended to more and more potential listeners.
This week’s review is from addictedpinner1 who wrote “A fresh new podcast for creatives!
Shannon keeps it real and fun (and that’s just episode one!) Can’t wait to hear more from her! Creatives need to stick together!”
Yes, we do! I firmly believe that creativity inspires more creativity! There are so many people and things that inspire me, and I hope to pay it forward with inspiring, insightful and fun entertainment with each episode. Thank you so much for that review, addictedpinner1.
And if reviews aren’t your thing, there are other fun ways to show your support - you can take a screenshot of your phone while you’re listening and share it on Instagram, and tag creativehappylifepodcast. You can share this episode with a friend through text, or share it to Facebook. Even just leaving a comment over on the podcast Instagram brightens my day!
So let’s get started!
First, a confession. This episode? I’ve recorded it three times. It’s been a struggle. I put a lot of pressure on myself. And if I’m being honest, I was being a perfectionist instead of just doing the dang thing! Remember episode one? Perfection doesn’t exist. So I pushed episode two off for nearly two months, trying to get it just right. And all I really needed to do was cut the crap, show up and do the work.
So storytelling...humans have been sharing stories for as long as we’ve existed. We’ve passed down glimpses and anecdotes, lessons and epic tales. We decide what stories will be passed on, and how we will share them, bearing our hearts, minds and souls in our writing, in songs, and in art.
We all want to be remembered, right?
Storytelling makes you vulnerable. In choosing which stories you share, you open yourself up to a whole slew of possible repercussions. But we keep sharing, because most importantly, stories create connection. They help us to better understand. They inspire us, they comfort us, and at the root, make us feel. We see ourselves in the stories of others. We see glimpses of things we can relate to, we want to know more, we anticipate what’s next.
Think about a story that compels you. Fact or fiction, what about a story appeals to you? The person or character? Lots of action? Conflict? Lessons learned?
I am a big fan of character development and backstory, which is probably surprising to, oh, no one. It’s easier with books and shows and movies. You get to know a character in the present, and then you get these pieces of their personal history unfold as it relates to where they are now. You get to see cause and effect. Crossroads. Turning points. These pieces give you a glimpse into why the character behaves a certain way, or makes a certain choice.
The more that’s shared, the more is understood.
We’re all complex characters, right? We all have things that have happened to us in life that explain who we are today.
Let’s do a little exercise. And just a warning, this might get your brain rolling, which might be a good thing, or might be an uncomfortable thing. But that’s life, right?
Ok, so if you’ve seen the Pixar movie Inside Out, you know what I mean when I ask you to think of a “core memory”. In the movie, core memories are things that happened to the character Riley, a young girl going through some big life changes when her family moves and she’s growing out of the little kid stage into adolescence. As life goes on and we grow and we change, our core memories, the things that have the most impact on who we are, also change.
So I want you to think about a couple memories, core or not, that really shaped who you are, or how your path has unfolded.
One of mine is from when I was around 14, a freshman in high school. I remember thinking to myself, I’m not going to go to college. I’m not going to work in an office. I have big dreams, and I want to do big, important things with my life. At 14, that dream was moving to New York and auditioning for musicals and being a big Broadway star. Well, ok, reality check, I went to college and graduated and got a corporate job that I stayed at for 9 years. But that mindset I had when I was 14? That stuck with me. I knew I wanted to find something in life that I could do that was bigger, important and lasting. So I took up photography. I’ve photographed hundred of beautiful, important moments. I captured milestones and celebrations and love and loss and have seen my photos displayed in homes and shared after loved ones have passed.
I am pretty sure I got my dream.
Another core memory: I’m 22. I just graduated college and moved to Connecticut. I was living with a roommate and starting my corporate job. I was excited to finally live near Sean after four years of dating long distance.
And he broke up with me. Two weeks after moving away from home, starting a new chapter at a new job and feeling like I was at the start of something new and exciting, the rug got ripped out from under me. I called my mom in tears and she told me she’d come get me. She help me repack my things and she’d bring me home. And I said no. I told her I’d stay. I don’t remember exactly if it was intuition or stubbornness or wanting to save face and not be seen as “the girl who moved for a boy and got dumped before she unpacked her suitcase”, but I decided in a moment I’d stay. I had a job. And an apartment. And some new friends. And I had hope. And a couple months later, after figuring out how to communicate with each other, Sean and I got back together, and two years later we were living together and engaged. And we’ll celebrate our 10th wedding anniversary in a couple weeks.
But sometimes, I wonder how different life would be if I had moved home. If I quit that job and lived with my parents. I’m so glad that’s not how things turned out. But that decision, that crossroads, defined my path.
And maybe you didn’t know that that happened. This was way before everything was on Facebook and Instagram. I remember changing our relationship status and that’s how I communicated what had happened. It felt raw and vulnerable to put that part out there.
As a photographer, I tend to look at life in moments and memories. Sometimes I’ll watch the world around me and see “frames” of moments. Sometimes I say a little “click” in my head, little things and big things, and wonder if other people see things the same way.
It’s kind of like watching an episode of This is Us. You’re watching the story of this family unfold, and you get these little flashbacks that deepen the story, that help us understand what a character is thinking or feeling. We can relate. Things make more sense.
We’re all so much more than what we see on the surface. Every single one of us has a backstory. Every single one of us has things happening right now, or yesterday, or a week ago, or longer, that are impacting us and those around us.
We all have stories to tell, if we want to.
Last, I want to talk about connection. The power of sharing stories can mean connection in a world that feels really big and confusing and scary. We share memes about marriage and motherhood and work and family and we all have a laugh, but what’s happening is we’re connecting through a shared experience.
When someone posts on Instagram that they’re just having one of those days and feels like a failure and one kid pooped in the tub and the house is a complete disaster and they just can’t even - they’ll probably get more than a few comments saying “Same, my friend.” This is relatable. I’ve been there. You’ve got this. Sending you love. Life is hard. Thank you for your honesty, because me too.
A year ago, I lost my third pregnancy. I was almost 16 weeks along, we’d just found out he was a boy, and had told Lily, and shared with our family and friends. I had announced on social media. And then he died. And it was so hard. But all I knew to do was write about it. I shared what had happened, and I wrote about my grief as it came, and through sharing this incredibly raw, painful year of my life, I connected. So many women, girls I went to high school and college with, people I barely knew, friends, women in my family, reached out and shared their stories. It was hard as hell, but even in the worst time of my life, I felt loved. I wasn’t alone. And my heart hurt for all the women who have been through it and didn’t, or couldn’t, share.
Because at the root of all of this, our experience isn’t new. Nothing is new. I do not think I am all that special. But without sharing these stories and experiences, we would just see the surface. We have the opportunity to go deeper. To love deeper. To connect deeper. To experience life deeper. And yes, sometimes feel sadness and pain that is so, so hard. But in that pain, we all need to know we’re not alone, if only we allow ourselves to get a little vulnerable, a little uncomfortable, and find the voices who reach out from unexpected places and say “me too”.
So, how can we share our stories in a way that’s meaningful and lasting? We can write. We can speak. We can compose. We can paint and write poetry. We can message an old friend, or visit a grandparent or aunt or uncle. It doesn’t matter how we share, or what we share.
What matters is why. For our kids, for better understanding. For lessons to be learned. For decisions that will be made. To laugh, to cry, to entertain and feel loved and to experience that moment when you, yourself, can be the one who reaches out to someone and tells them they’re not alone.
We all want to feel connected. We all want to feel loved. We all want to be remembered.
So, what’s your story?
With each episode, I hope to nurture a community of creative minds and hearts who want to continue the conversation. If this episode got your creative wheels turning, join me over on Instagram. Share a story, tag #creativehappylifepodcast in your post or in your story. Let me know if you have a story to share but aren’t sure how to express it.
Or open up a journal or Google Doc and start writing. Even if you never share it with another person, there’s a story in you, waiting to be told.
Thanks for listening, my friend. I’m grateful for you, and hope I earned the privilege of your time.
Until next time, stay awesome.
share the happy!
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