What is Personal Branding Photography?

“What is personal branding?”

You’ve probably heard “personal branding” popping up more and more in conversations among small businesses and entrepreneurs. Or maybe this is the first time you’re hearing about it! Either way, I am here to help you learn and understand what it’s all about in relation to photography.

Personal branding photography, or “PBP” as we call it in the photography world, has always been around as a style of branding and marketing, but it is certainly gaining popularity in the world of small business and online marketing! In short, it is photography that tell your story, that you use to market and grow your business.

“But isn’t it just headshots and lifestyle portraits?”

It’s actually so much more!

Personal branding photography is about storytelling and creating connection with your clients and audience. By creating images that showcase not only what you look like, but who you are, infused with personality, action and purpose, you can easily and professionally tell your story. The images give your audience an intimate look at the life, the work, and the person behind the business. Paired with copywriting that is specific to your brand voice, you engage your audience to not only pay attention, but to care about you, and want to support your business as it grows!

And personal branding photography is not just about photos of you. A solid PBP collection will include a variety of marketing images for you to use. To get the most bang for your buck, you should work with a photographer who gets to know your business’ needs AND knows how to shoot this variety of images.

Here’s an example of a set of images for a 2-hour personal brand session. Kyndra’s Kitchen is an at-home prepared food service based in Kingston, Massachusetts. Kyndra often collaborates with her husband on meal preparation. She wanted to photograph several pieces of her business:

  • her kitchen where she cooks

  • what a typical day looks like while she works on order processing and meal planning

  • what deliveries and her branded bags look like

  • cooking together and sharing a meal with her husband to show one of the many benefits of her service

  • her family, including their doodle, Nixon

  • and behind the scenes of cooking, photographing and packaging her meals

Depending on your business needs and time of year, a personal branding session might include:

  • WHO ARE YOU - The face and the heart behind your business, images of you at work, at home, with your family, working on location or at your office, studio or shop, giving both a bigger picture and distinct branded details of what your life looks like as a business owner, and why you are passionate about what you do.

  • WHERE DO YOU WORK - people love to see where you spend your days and how you get work done. Whether it’s a studio, a shop, an office, a coworking space, or a desk tucked in the back corner of your closet (a “cloffice”), you are further painting the picture of how and where you spend your days. People want to see your stuff. Trust me.

  • WHO DO YOU WORK WITH - Do you have a support team or partner? Do you work solo at home? Are your kids running circles around you while you write your blog? Does your partner or best friend help you out? Who are the people you most closely surround yourself with? They are part of your story.

  • WHO DO YOU SERVE - The most important part of branding is not to speak to everyone, but to speak to your audience. Create a clear picture of who you serve by showing them in your images, working with clients, greeting customers, gathering at networking events and meetups, and addressing your audience directly through your writing.

  • HOW DO YOU SERVE - Do you create a product or provide a service? Take your audience through the process with you. Show the steps you take in brainstorming, organizing ideas, sketching, designing, editing, and making. How do you package your product? How do you choose your packaging to make it special and your own? How do you make your customers feel special and well taken care of? The same goes for providing a service. How do you make your clients feel and what are you helping them achieve or accomplish?

  • WHAT DO YOU LOOK LIKE IN ACTION - This ties into other points above. What does a typical workday look like for you? Where do you make or build? What do you wear? Do you mostly work in the same space or do you work on location? Take note of all the various things you do to run your business, and what that looks like to your audience if you were to zoom out a bit. If you had an audience watching you, what would they see?

  • TOOLS AND EQUIPMENT - What do you use daily to run your business? Is your work mostly on your phone or laptop? Do you work with power tools or photo equipment? What do you use to organize your business, like a planner or calendar system? Do you work at a gym or studio? What physical elements do you need to get work done? And which ones are your favorites?

  • STYLED/DISPLAYED PRODUCTS - If you are a product based business, you want to show what you make! This can be done several ways. You may be a home-based maker and style your photos for your Etsy shop or e-commerce site. You may run a brick and mortar shop and have displays and styled areas that showcase the product and environment.

  • ROUTINES AND RITUALS - Consider sharing your morning or evening rituals. How you prepare for the day ahead, or unwind when the workday is over. What are some things that are important to you to stay grounded and happy? Some ideas may be journaling, prayer or meditation, working out, preparing a meal or coffee, skin or body care routine, favorite books or music you’re currently enjoying.

  • A GLIMPSE AT FAMILY OR HOME LIFE - You get to choose what elements of your life you share as part of your personal brand story. You might include occasional family updates, a glimpse at your home, where you rest or have your routines and rituals, a favorite space in your home or recent project. Find ways to tie these little pieces in as it relates to your brand. Maybe your lifestyle is part of your brand: where or what you eat, travel, hobbies or activities.

  • SEASONAL UPDATES - Even if you don’t live somewhere that experiences distinct seasons throughout the year, there are changes and holidays that occur that may affect your story. And not just nature, but seasons of your life may change, with a move, a promotion or recognition, or life event such as marriage, pregnancy, stages of parenthood, friendships, loss, and personal growth.

  • PRODUCT OR SERVICE LAUNCHES - A whole session may be dedicated to capturing a new product, service, course, podcast, book. So many possibilities!

  • BUSINESS GATHERINGS OR EVENTS - Networking events, conventions, retreats, meetups, coffee with a friend, coworking, launch event, book tours, celebrations, seasonal markets, holiday events. Again, lots of possibilities to share important happenings with you and your business throughout the year! You can look at the year ahead and what you already have scheduled, or book a la carte coverage as these events come up.

So, as you can see, there is a lot to personal branding photography. It’s not just a couple pretty pictures of yourself. It’s showing an in depth picture of your business in whatever way that you want to share it.

Another important thing to consider is growing a close relationship with your branding photographer, so they can help you maximize your sessions and create the best assortment of personal branding images for you to choose from. As you work together over time, they will be more and more in tune to what you need for your specific business!

What questions do you have about personal branding photography? Have you had a PBP session yet? Do you know how to find a PBP photographer who is local to you?

Shannon Sorensen is a Connecticut-based small business and branding photographer. Personal branding photography for small business and entrepreneurs focuses on showing the heart behind the business, compelling stories to help your audience get to know you and your business better, and turn fans into paying clients! Learn more about personal and business branding photography.

Book your branding session with Shannon!

Related blog posts: Twelve Months of Personal Branding Photoshoot Ideas to Grow Your Business, The What Why and How of Personal Branding

Twelve Months of Personal Branding Photoshoot Ideas to Grow Your Business

Not sure if monthly branding sessions are right for you and your business? After all, how many pictures can you really use each month? That all depends on your business and how you market your brand!

Here are twelve ways (one for each month of the year!) to use monthly branding sessions to grow your business!

  1. CHANGING SEASONS - Unless you’re traveling, it can be a bit odd to see a warm weather photo when your audience knows you should have some snow on the ground! Seasons affect your wardrobe, your environment, and maybe your product offerings! If your brand is more focused on personal topics like food, skin care, fashion or family, the seasons will be a major factor in dictating your content.

  2. SEASONAL OR HOLIDAY PRODUCTS AND SERVICES - there are tons of promotional seasons per year, and if you are a product or service based business, you want to show off your newest offerings for back to school, fall, Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, winter, gifts, New Years, Valentine’s Day, St. Patrick’s Day, Spring Break, Easter, Mother’s Day, Memorial Day, Father’s Day, summer, Fourth of July. If you’re a shop owner, you maybe also incorporate seasonal decor and displays into your sessions.

  3. NATIONAL DAY OF….Tacos? Margaritas? Ice Cream? Best friends? There’s a national day to celebrate almost every day of the year, and you can pick and choose what fits your branding that you want to celebrate and share with your audience! Remember - social media is for engagement, entertainment and fun! Your audience wants to see the things that you enjoy that they can relate to! If you’re an influencer, chances are a lot of your sponsored posts could revolve around this type of content! See below for quick links to all monthly national days, weeks and months of observance!

  4. EVENTS - Whether you’re attending, hosting, or planning, you can look at your year ahead and hand pick events that you want featured content for as it relates to food, fashion, decor, planning, seasons, new product launches, awards, and lifestyle.

  5. PROJECTS - Home renovation? Setting up shop? Featuring a seasonal menu? Creating a course or launching a big new product, service or collaboration? Keep your audience informed and excited as you go through the process and share your big reveal!

  6. YOU - This is what personal branding is all about, after all! Sharing your face, at work, out and about, doing your thing, attending events, your style. You should get a variety of shots to maximize your content and be able to use your photos for a number of marketing strategies. This means lifestyle shots, zoomed out and space to add text or info, close up details shots, a variety of poses and actions.

  7. YOUR SQUAD - Depending on your business or brand, you may incorporate family stories into your work. At least twice a year, you might consider a session with your partner, kids, pets, best friends, or team!

  8. YOUR WORKSPACE OR SHOP - Consider a session that showcases your workspace, shop, studio or home. Wide shots, details and you working within the space. These are images you can use throughout the year! Add seasonal shots as you go, and schedule another workspace shoot if you do a major renovation or update.

  9. STYLE - As a style blogger, influencer or small business, you may plan around events or new seasonal wardrobes, gift guides, or travel to feature your personal style! You may have sponsored posts or your tried and true favorite items that you want to incorporate or make the focus of a session.

  10. BRANDED DETAILS - These might be considered “filler” images, but things that showcase more of your brand can help add variety to your content. These might be considered your own personal stock photos. Things like your desk, tools and equipment, letterboards with favorite quotes or sayings, flatlays with an assortment of items. There are so many possibilities! You can also think of your environment, like shots around town or your city, storefronts, and places that fit your story. This may be a harbor of sailboats, a busy city street, your favorite park bench or outdoor seating area at a coffee shop. If your home is full of plants or decor, you may do a styled shoot featuring these kinds of details.

  11. WORK LIFE - Action shots, working with clients, having meetings, greeting customers. Whatever work looks like for you, there are a lot of ideas and options to share with your audience!

  12. MILESTONES AND CELEBRATIONS - Did you hit your first 100, 1,000 or 10,000 followers? Did your business just turn 1, 5 or 10? Did you receive an award or recognition? Celebrate your wins and share them! Order yourself a cake, pop some champagne, and book a shoot!

These are just a few ideas, but even within these categories, there are so many possibilities!

Not sure where to start? I created a 30-day content planning template to get you started!

“but wait- there’s more!” she said.

keep scrolling for daily, weekly and monthly celebration and observance quick links!

National Days, Weeks and Months to Celebrate

Just for fun, here are ideas for each month of the year, specific to the calendar year, as well as quick links to all those daily, weekly and monthly national celebrations and observances:

Plan for the Year Ahead

I hope these ideas inspire you to look at your calendar and start brainstorming for the year ahead! As it is in business, the days can pass quickly. And when you create a clear plan for your marketing and content, weeks or months in advance, you’ll save yourself time and frustration because you’ll already know what’s in your calendar!

grab a free 30-day content planning template

Shannon Sorensen is a Connecticut-based small business and branding photographer. Personal branding photography for small business and entrepreneurs focuses on showing the heart behind the business, compelling stories to help your audience get to know you and your business better, and turn fans into paying clients! Learn more about personal and business branding photography.

Book your branding session with Shannon!

The Creative Happy Life Podcast Episode 1 :: Start Before You're Ready

Welcome to the first episode of the Creative, Happy Life Podcast! In this episode, I’m discussing the importance of starting before you're ready, punching fear in the face, and accepting that done is better than perfect. There are lessons to be learned in every experience, even the ones where we think we've failed.

LISTEN HERE OR ON ITUNES

Show Notes

Episode 01 :: Start Before You’re Ready!

I have a confession to make: I have no idea what I’m doing!

Seriously! I am in the middle of a podcast course at this very moment, I have a microphone and some resources, but you guys, I decided I just have to hit record and get this ball rolling, and here’s why…

I could have put this off for a few more months or another year, or forever. I could have been perpetually planning a podcast for the rest of my life. I could have waited until I was more comfortable, or had some practice, or until I had time to finish my course, or more money to invest in fancy intro music and a podcast editor to outsource the work...but…I got tired of waiting. I didn’t know if I’d ever really feel ready. So I decided to just start - to hit record, and see where this goes!

Fear can be paralyzing, and in this episode, I share a story about facing fear and the idea of being prepared enough. It’s about the idea of perfection and how that doesn’t actually exist. But we put so many things on the back burner because we’re waiting for things to be better or perfect or more ready.

Fear creeps in and tells us to keep waiting. That we’re not ready, not perfect, or not enough.

You have to punch fear in the face and just do the thing.

You’re more ready than you think. That’s what it is to be prepared enough. And the thing is, if you keep waiting until the time is just right, oh gosh, life is going to keep going. So do it. Start before you’re ready. Hit record. Book the flight. Buy the URL. Call the real estate agent. Prepare what you can, but do not let fear keep you from taking that step towards what you desire.

I also don’t believe in failure. Because even if something does not go the way we want or hope or expect it will, there’s always a lesson learned. There’s always a takeaway. There’s always something to gain from losing. That’s why I don’t believe true failure actually exists. You’re always going to come out of it with something. 

Ok, I know that’s a lot to unpack, and I want to hear what you think about all this. If you have a story to share, or strong thoughts and feelings on fear and success and failure, this is the starting point. I honestly didn’t expect to have this kind of topic to start my podcast, but I guess the best things in life are sometimes the least expected!

Now that we’ve started this conversation, I want to hear from you! My goal for the Creative Happy Life Podcast is not only to share stories, and inspiration and creative topics with you, but what I really want is to create a community through an insiders group on Facebook. This is a place for you to be able to go have conversations with fellow listeners and myself, to answer questions, to discuss episodes and ideas, and to get inspired!

When it comes down to it, we need more connection, and if you’re a creative person, you know, creativity sparks more creativity!

So what IS this podcast about? I’m glad you asked!

Did any of you watch the show Nashville when it aired? I won’t spoil anything, I promise, but the lead character, Rayna James, was a country singer and she had a family and through her life she had all these twists and turns, she was super famous, she was considered one of the greats of the country music industry, and she had this song about just looking around at the end of the day, and praying that she had a life that was good. This simple idea that when you look back on your life, and your experiences…

I think all any of us want is to know we lived a good life, hopefully a happy life. When you strip away the extra stuff, the material stuff, the sum of your experiences is a feeling of fullness, and happiness. That’s a bit of an abstract idea - we all have different definitions of what a good life might look like, or what happiness is. I thought I might share a couple of my own ideas of what happiness means to me. 

I’ll start with the very general question of “What makes you happy?”

In the podcast, I list a lot of things that make me happy, including creative hobbies and interests, my family, being in nature, music, art, little things like the first hot sip of coffee, warm blankets and a hug from my mom.

Friends, I could go on for days. Seriously. Just listing off things that makes me happy. And if you couldn’t tell, a lot of the things I listed relate back to feelings. Nostalgia, comfort, peace, joy, pleasure, excitement, satisfaction. We all pull happiness from an enormous variety of life experiences, interactions, people, places and things.

What I hope to explore on this podcast is the fact that happiness can mean something different to everyone. And the stories we share about our lives, the creative experiences and our creative differences - are all important. And worth sharing. And worth hearing. You just never know who might be out there listening, waiting to be inspired. 

Thank you so much listening, and I don’t know about you, but I can’t wait to do this again soon!

Bye for now, my friends!

share the happy!

If you enjoy this podcast, it would mean so much to me if you’d Pin the image below to Pinterest, share it with friends, leave a review in the comments, and join the Facebook insiders creative community!

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Garrett :: Massachusetts At-Home Newborn Photography

If you’re a new mama or had your second (or third or fourth) and feeling that exhaustion that comes with the newborn stage, I just want to tell you, you’re doing an amazing job. It is so hard and until you’re in the thick of it, you really don’t have an idea just how hard it is. You’re tired, you’re hormonal, you’re figuring out this new little person, a new routine, trying to stay hydrated and probably struggling with any number of newborn struggles, like feeding, sleeping, gas, fussiness.

You’re doing an amazing job.

I’ll tell you as often as I can, mama. These sweet little babies are miracles, but geez, it’s so hard. Things that we hoped would come naturally to us are maybe actually really difficult (ahem breastfeeding). Maybe you’re dealing with post-partum depression. Maybe you’re living off Poptarts and frozen pizzas.

It’s. All. Good.

Do what you need to do to take care of yourself and the baby. And if you need help or support, just ask. Allow others to wrap their caring arms around you.

You’re doing an amazing job.

Garrett’s Newborn Session

Garrett was born in early April and he was possibly the sleepiest baby I’ve ever worked with! He was awake when I arrived at the home, he ate, and boom - asleep! Through all the little changes and moving him around, he barely moved!

One of the benefits of doing newborn photos in the first two weeks is that they are at their sleepiest during this stage, but not every baby actually sleeps through their whole session! Every baby is different, and we make it work however we need to in order to get beautiful photos in your hands.

Here are some favorites from Garrett’s session!

One of my favorite things to do is get photos of families on their front steps. Often times, this is the first home, and makes a special keepsake to document the new family in front of the new home.

John :: Massachusetts At-Home Newborn Photography

Hey friends! We’ve made it to that “mid-summer” point and we are in the midst of a mega heat wave. I am grateful to have an excuse to stay inside in the air conditioning and get a bunch of work done this week. As of tomorrow, we’ll be away for a little over a week in Massachusetts. Lil will be going to baseball camp with my brother, we’re going to spend time with family, swim in my parents pool and eat a lot of ice cream!

at-home newborn photography

I had the joy of photographing Ros and Matt’s little guy back in March. He arrived two weeks “past due”, which is basically an eternity in a pregnant woman’s life, and mom and dad were so happy to finally have him in their arms.

When I arrived at their home in Massachusetts, I was surprised and delighted to see one of my favorite wedding photos I’ve taken in a large canvas on their mantle. Sometimes it surprises me to see photos I’ve taken in people’s homes, but it really just tells me that these photos mean so much to them and that what we photographers do, matters.

By the way, happy five year anniversary, you two!

John was a sweet, sleepy and snuggly little baby, and I set up in their dining room for the soft light that was coming in that side of their house. We shot a series of cozy baby portraits, and then went up to Ros and Matt’s room to take some relaxed family photos of them holding, kissing and loving on their little guy. We used a mix of the wraps and blankets that I bring with me in my little traveling studio along with a gorgeous handmade blanket by Ros’ best friend Liz, and some of their favorite swaddles to make his photos a bit more personalized.

Here are some favorites from their at-home newborn session.

Grateful

This year has been weird and hard. 

I've experienced some of the happiest moments in my life, watching Lily and Roo grow and bond and become siblings who love each other fiercely and annoy the crap out of each other. The days are passing quickly, sometimes it feels like lightspeed and I wake up and the kids are just bigger, like it happened overnight. Lily is going into first grade and Roo is suddenly a very active little toddler. They amaze me every day. I keep asking time to slow down just a little bit, but it doesn't.

Over the winter, I found a lump in my breast. It took my breath away. I had signed up for an app called Check Yourself and it sends me monthly reminders to do a self exam. I found this lump, very small, but it was there and it wasn't there before. It completely freaked me out, as it had been so long since I'd been to a primary care doctor. I literally did not know what to do. I didn't know how to call a doctor's office and ask to be a new patient and also, I found a lump in my breast and am terrified. 

For a week before seeing my doctor, my perspective shifted. My world was rocked. It was awful. My mind went to terrible places. 

I won't drag anything out for dramatic effect. I am ok. I ended up having my first mammogram and a diagnostic ultrasound, and it was fine. It was a fibroid that they said might hang out in there or go away, and to keep checking and let them know if I notice any changes. 

In the three weeks between feeling it, having my doctor's appointment and then the mammogram, we celebrated Roo's birthday. I felt like a different person, like I was having an out of body experience. My spirituality suffered. I questioned everything and at the same time, prayed and begged for it to be nothing. 

I'm grateful that I'm ok. I'm in awe of those who aren't, but go about their lives and get shit done and have positive, inspiring things to say. It freaked me out how quickly I started thinking of "what ifs". It numbed me with fear many days. I hope I never feel that way again. I keep many friends in my heart and in my prayers who's lives are touched by cancer and disease. It's just not fair.

Life is moving fast. I'm terrified of missing it, to the point where I probably annoy the hell out of my family with photographing the mundane stuff. But that is where my heart sings. Those little everyday moments feed my soul. The stuff that most don't see as important - that's my whole world. 

So when I talk about how important photography is, I'm not feeding you a line. It's a lifeline. It ties us to each other. It keeps us afloat and it keeps us grounded. Seeing the people who are the most important to you, being vulnerable and unguarded, is a gift. We can all sit and smile for a camera. That's easy. But witnessing these little moments through a photo...it helps time slow down, just a little. 

And for that I'm grateful.

So if you haven't been to the doctor in a while, go. If you haven't done a self-exam in a while, do one. Don't wait. Don't let fear hold you hostage. Don't brush off your health. You are important. We need you here, in your family pictures. We don't ask that you're perfect, only present. 

I'm grateful for you. 

Documentary Family Photography :: Fall in Wilton, Connecticut

I'm so excited to share my sweet bestie's family with you today! We spent a beautiful fall morning at their home in Wilton, Connecticut, playing outside, getting lots of snuggles, and then heading inside for some more casual, candid shots while their little guy had a snack and played.

I love at-home sessions, especially for kiddos around this age (1-2), because they are in their comfort zone. They have their stuff and familiar surroundings. They are more relaxed, and mom and dad can enjoy themselves a bit more knowing they don't need to pack a car of snacks, clothes, diapers and toys to keep the kiddo happy. They have everything they need, so they can focus on spending time together, play, snuggling, reading books and showing what their family life is all about. 

To Andrew, On Your First Birthday

Dear Roo,

Today you are one. No amount of thought, self care or planning could prepare my mama heart for today. I rocked you to sleep last night, smelled your freshly washed little head (it smells like love) and smiled as your breathing grew deeper and you let out the gentlest and cutest of snores. We listen to a playlist of lullabies and songs that I compiled on my phone each night, and as I stood to put you in your crib, Seasons of Love came on. 

So I cradled you a little bit longer. I gave you a few more kisses on your apple cheeks. I let you wrap your chubby little finger s around my thumb and just listened to the song as we swayed.

In daylights, in sunsets, in midnights, in cups of coffee...how do you measure a year in the life? How about loooooooove.....

Yeah, it felt a little corny, but we do corny pretty well in our family. 

You were born one year ago after I spent a weekend putting my body under too much stress. I  moved furniture Friday night, had a newborn session Saturday morning, did more cleaning Saturday afternoon, photographed a 6 month old session Sunday morning, and then drove some bumpy backroads Sunday afternoon up to Central Massachusetts for my cousin's baby shower. I rubbed my belly and tried to ignore the ache that was present in my back. "I just did too much this weekend. I'll rest tomorrow."

Monday morning came and I dropped Lily off at preschool. It felt like you were going to fall out of me. There's no other way of describing it. There was low pressure and I was certain I was going into labor. A visit to the doctor told us there was no official progress, but something just felt off. I couldn't ignore it. We called Mimi to come down for back up. 

I spent the day with my feet up and Daddy picked up Lily from school. Mimi arrived around 4 and Daddy left for work. I got started making chicken tikka masala in the Instant Pot for dinner. I set the pot to cook and sat down on the couch to rest. And then I felt like I peed my pants a little. Ugh, I got up to go pee. There was some bleeding. I panicked. I finished up and stood to wash my hands and felt another gush. I knew that feeling. The same one I had with Lily. I sat back down on the toilet and took a deep breath. I hollered to Mimi that my water broke and that I needed my phone to call Sean. I immediately went into labor mode and all shame went out the door. Pants around my ankles, amniotic fluid coming out in gushes. There's no such thing as modesty once it's go time. 

Sean came home and packed our bags. It was a feeling of calm excitement. Unlike when I had Lily, I knew what was ahead. I knew we would have a c-section. I knew that within a couple hours, you'd be in my arms. Lily would have a little brother. Our world would be forever changed. 

I hugged Lily tightly and explained as best and calmly as I could that Daddy and I were going to the hospital to have her baby brother. She was excited, but also tired from the day, as a four year old should be. She snuggled up on the couch with Mimi to eat dinner and watch Moana. We told her she could come visit in the morning to meet you. 

The next couple hours were a blur. We went to the ER, I got a wheelchair and the contractions started getting stronger. I was strangely grateful to be able to experience that part of labor. When I knew I'd have a scheduled c-section, it felt like something was taken from me, a bit of excitement and anticipation, the feeling of my body doing "what it should". So I was happy to go through those cramps, to feel that gross feeling of sitting in an oversaturated pad, because when your water breaks, it's not just a cute little gush and then it's over. Imagine someone intermittently turning a water faucet on over and over again, in different intensities and for a quick second or what feels like forever.

We went through all the registration once we were in a room. All the physical checks ("Yes, you're in labor!" "I KNOW.") and everything becoming very official, and a little scary ("Here, sign this form about what to do in case you might die in surgery."). Then I walked to the OR. Walked. Because life is weird. In my bare feet, holding my gown shut in the back (because sometimes you want a very small feeling of modesty, even when you are about to be laying butt naked on a metal table having your belly cut open).

Everything was different from your sisters birth this time around. Everything was more calm and expected. My OB came into the OR in rubber rain boots. Bright red. I'll never forget that. She's a smart woman, that Dr. Flagg. I remember sitting up and leaning forward, having my back numbed and the anesthesia being put in. No pain. Lying down under those super bright lights. I don't remember the lights being so bright when Lily was born. I had tears in my eyes and was exhausted then. This time, I was calm, well rested, excited. 

And then you were out! They put you on my chest and I got to see your face. There were tears, and I puked, which was weird, but you just snuggled up to me and we had time. Something I didn't have with your sister. I could look at your face, and study it, and you looked at mine. They didn't take you away from me. I got to hold you and recovery was spent with you and your daddy, not alone in a room that felt like a closet.

I didn't plan on recounting the day of your birth like this. But I put my baby to bed last night and woke up with a one year old, so I am finding myself clinging to these details. I want to remember everything. This year went by so fast. It's been an odd juxtaposition of experiencing so much joy with you while the world seems to be hurting so much every day. I look to you to stay hopeful and focused, joyful and seeing the best in people. Together we enjoy the little things in life.

We've spent nearly every day together. I've watched you smile for the first time, learn to sit up, to laugh, to crawl and play. I've watched you get teeth, discover the joy of food (yes, it's amazing and you want to eat allll the things), and guzzle down milk like it's your job. We've spent sleepless nights rocking together, countless naps on the couch with your daddy, and lots of snuggles with your sister. You are a snugglebug to the core. 

You're a funny little guy. You have a smile for everyone. You love watching people. You're not walking yet, but you are crawling SO fast. One of these days you are just going to take off running, I'm sure of it!

It's hard not to compare you to your sister. Not in a competitive way, but just in the way of observing how similar you are in some ways, and completely different in others. She is a sound sleeper, whereas you are restless and will wake at the sound of a creaking floor. She is a picky eater, whereas you are a bottomless pit and will eat us out of house and home. Some days you look exactly alike, and other days, I see distinctly different features, different glimpses of faces from different sides of our families. I see a lot of your Great-Grampa Clark in you and when you smile. I see your Uncle Jason (from baby pictures of his I've seen) in you when you are just waking up, cheeks full and red, sleepy eyes and crazy curly bedhead sticking out the back.

I never dreamed I could feel so much joy and love in my life. Being your mama is the best job in the world. Watching you and your sister grow, and witnessing your relationship develop, is everything a mama could hope for. You are crazy about each other, but you also drive each other crazy in a way that only siblings can. She is so proud of you. She tells everyone we meet that you are her brother, and how old you are, and that sometimes you're a little pest, but you're a cutie patootie and she loves you. 

I will miss having a baby in the house, but we're already on to the next stage. You are finding ways to entertain yourself, you're getting into everything, and you just make us laugh. You're finding your voice, imitating sounds (hiccups are your favorite) and we can see your little brain firing off something new every day. 

If there's one thing I've learned in motherhood, it's that time will not slow down. There's no pause button. There are no retakes or do-overs. I struggled with so much when your sister was a baby. Everything felt so big and momentous and the passage of time scared me. So I am doing the best I can to savor each day, each snuggle, each dinnertime giggle and bedtime cuddle. I let go of your baby clothes (but keep a couple favorites), teething toys, and things that you no longer need. I prepare my heart for all the milestones to come, and I slowly chip away at filling out your baby book and organizing the photos, so many photos, of your first year. I forgive myself that I didn't write long blog posts for each month of your first year, as I did with Lily. I took more photos on my phone than with my "big, fancy camera". I am working on simplifying parenthood so I can enjoy you more, and worry less. There's a joke that the second child gets "less" because life is that much more chaotic and busy and crazy, but I feel like you are getting more of who I really am. You helped me find myself as a mother this year. You completed our family, and we just love you so much.

Happy first birthday, Mr. Sweet Face. 

Love,

Your Mama